Hope is in a Cure

This link was forwarded to me today through the CWD - Parents of Children with Diabetes support list. I thought it was a fabulous video that shows the positives as well as some of the not-so-positives!! Oh and for the record, Matthew doesn't have a pump, maybe one day but not yet, and I have never injected into his arm...owww!!!! OUCH! :D



Hope is in a cure and we gotta believe that it will happen.

Keep Smiling and always hoping!
Trish

I rock and I share LOL!

Thanks Tam.....I think???! I rock?!?! Hmmm...I'm trying to be a better blogger. Tammie, I think we need to remind each other to blog OK?!!

I'm not going to tag 5 people because 1) no-one reads my blog anyway; b) anyone who does has already been tagged and c) I don't think I read 5 blogs!! LOL!

Anyway, not much happening, meant to be working on 2 assignments so better get in to it. Matthew has a class prayer/celebration thing today and he doing a reading, so the girls and I are going up to join in.

Nothing much else to say at the moment but I think it is because I am feeling guilty that I should be studying. I haven't done any scrapping for AAAAAGGGGGGEEEEESSSS, but I'll leave with the last lot of layouts I have done and not uploaded here. Most were done while I was away for my week end of June.

Snuggle: This was done for a cybercop. Challenge was to create your own patterned paper and to use a technique you have either never tried or only tried once. mine was using a mask, love them just never think to use them. All "patterned paper" on this page was made with staps or white dots/doodles etc. Sarah and Uncle Mikey on her birthday.

So Loved: This was done at a Scrapbook City crop as part of a 1,2,3 follow me. I (and everyone there) chose a photo and the background cardstock and then moved on to someone else's spot and had to add things (first pp, then title, then embellishment, then something else). So this page is a joint creation by the girls at the crop. I finished it off with some dots.

More Birthday Hugs: Based on a skecth by Alicia Barry. Love these papers, so pretty!

Breathless: I am so happy with this layout, I just love these photos of Emily (except for her little tushie hanging out the top of her pants?!?!! Gotta love the strategically placed HS flower!!!), love these papers too. Thinking about adding the title breathless somewhere though. Journalling reads: "There are days that your beauty takes my breath away. Today, watching you lying at the beach busy daydreaming, I was completely breathless."

Another Dad's Girl: Originally this was for the final round of Reality Scrap but I didn't get it done and only needed at least 1 of the 3 layouts done (I managed 2). It was meant to have 3 photos but I was forcing it trying to use 3 and figured that it was more important to have it the way I wanted it rather than forcing it to fit. Not sure if you can read the journalling but it basically explains how I was concerned how Steve would be with another princess because Emily is SUCH a daddy's girl.

Doing The Show: Matthew used to always be the Wiggles when he was younger and was always "doing the show" so this layout is about that! Emily also liked to join in, love how she is holding the guitar LOL!

SpongeBob: This was started ages ago for a Round Robin challenge on Scrapbook City where we had to scraplift the layout uploaded before us. I had to scraplift one of Gigi's layouts. i love her layout and don't think I really did it justice but I'm just glad to have this story recorded!

Cheese: Done for Scrapbook City cyber crop a while ago, can't remember the rules but I followed them LOL! Sarah's Cheese face, everytime the camera comes out..."Cheeeese"

Flutter: Love this layout, love this photo and it turned out exactly how I wanted it to. I always say to Emily that when she gives me cuddles, she makes my heart flutter so I wanted to do a layout to remember this.

Jasmine: My gorgeous niece Jasmine, how beautiful is this photo of her!!!! Lots and lots and lots of tiny jewels. They took forever to individually stick on but I love how it turned out!

Keep smiling :)

Trish

Sometimes life is full of disappointments and letdowns

Maybe all brides feel a certain letdown after their wedding, the months of planning, excitement building and then it is all over. But when you only find out you are getting married the day before, you'd think there wouldn't be a letdown! Unless of course you think you are really getting married and it turns out your wedding is only pretend!

Looks like Daddy was right, Emily did think she was really getting married. She was so disappointed yesterday afternoon because "I didn't get married like you did in your video". She had fun (except didn't like everyone looking at her when she was walking down the aisle!) and she liked having Meggie as her flower girl, Michael gave her away, Cassie and Alei were her other bridesmaids (Tiana wasn't there so she couldn't be her as her other bridesmaid too). She didn't like wearing "that material thing on my face". Luke even had a ring for her. So with a bit more fishing, she did enjoy it even though she is a bit disappointed that she's not really married! Steve told her last night that she wasn't allowed to get married until she is 18 and all she could say is But why not???

She is also really upset at the moment that Luke is going to a different school and wants to know why she can't go to Luke's school. He drew her a picture yesterday to keep in her room next year and he told her that she can look at it all the time and remember him! I think I'm going to have to organise with Luke's Mum for some play dates from time to time until they move on. LOL

Lots of uni work to do yet again and this last week and a half, have really thrown me out of routine. I've had the most horrible headaches and have missed uni and have been struggling to concentrate. Matthew said this is how he felt last week so hopefully they will be gone really soon so I can get some more work done on all of my assignments.

Marnie is in hospital. She had a fall on Monday and they took her up to the RBH. She's ok but they are doing lots of tests and reorganising all of her medication. She has been having back pain for a long time but no reason has been found and so her GP finally put her on these patch things to help with the pain. The dr at the hospital hates the patches and has taken her off them. he says they are way too strong and are possibly the reason she had the fall. So she is in there for lots of tests and assessment until the end of the week. In this time they are also hoping to have lots of assessment done regarding extra in home care for her, so hopefully once she is home she will have more frequent visits by blue-care, VA etc (or whatever it is) . Just need to convince the stubborn old thing that it is OK to accept the help ("she doesn't want anyone in her home all the time" LOL!) She's doing so well but needs to understand that she has reached the age of needing a little care and THAT IS OK!!!

It's horrible knowing that she is getting old, weaker etc. She was soooo much fun, so energetic and vibrant and strong and stubborn and dependable when we were young. So many memories with her, we spent so much time with her and she was a fabulous grandmother. She was always there for everything we did, so interested in everything we did. I know it is part of life and growing old but it is horrible seeing her not having the same interest in things like she used to. I know it must be hard living like she is (sadly most of her is just living and going through the motions of life because she has to IYKWIM) but I just wish more of that spark was still there. I wish she wanted to be interested in things still. I know there is interest to a certain extent but at the same time, there's not! She can't hear properly so it makes it hard to talk with her.

I haven't been a good granddaughter at all and have been thinking about her a lot lately. I don't visit her (partly because I'm allergic to the cat) but if I really wanted to I would cope with it wouldn't I! I'd try to find something for the allergy. I'm not even sure why I don't go. Sure I don't like seeing her old but she's my grandmother.... I don't know...I'm rambling and probably not making a lot of sense. I think I just hate old age! I hate seeing people shrink. To a large extent I think I resent old age. I don't understand why some people are left to live to the point of wanting to die (like Steve's grandmother...she used to say I ask God everyday to just take me but he doesn't), why some people outlive their dignity and independence and pride. Why some people die way too young with everything ahead of them. Why young kids get sick and die while some people live longer than they want to. Kinda seems drastically unfair doesn't it! Don't get me wrong, she's so capable still, her mind is with it etc, I just don't think she really wants to be here anymore, I think she just wants to be with Poppa! Anyway....

Funny isn't it how life turns out...you start out as a baby needing lots of care and attention, then you become the one who gives the care and attention to your own kids, then you look after your parents and give them care and attention (kinda like paying them back for looking after you as a baby) and then comes the time that you get paid back, being looked after by your kids! Maybe instead of getting angry and frustrated with my kids at times, I should just keep a mental note and use it all as pay back when my time comes! LOL

While we are on a downer....Poor Matthew got so, so upset on Monday night. He and Steve stopped at the petrol station and he saw someone who looked like Poppy. He lost it. He cried and cried and cried. He expressed how much he missed Poppy, how much he wished he was here to watch him play footy, go to games etc, how unfair it is that he doesn't have any grandfathers at all ("Poppy isn't here and I never even got to meet your Dad!"), that he just wishes Poppy was still here. Broke our hearts but it needed to happen. He hasn't really, fully let it all out yet so obviously this was his time. But what do you say to him? He's right, it does suck that he doesn't have any grandfather at all. It does suck that Kev missed seeing him be the footy nut he is. It does suck that he can't share Kev's love of footy etc with him. Sometimes, life is unfair. And I've learnt that it's important not to pretend it is all good and turn it all into a positive so I was honest with him.

"Yes mate, it's not fair, its not fair at all and I get angry too. But I know that Poppy wouldn't want you to be sad forever, he'd want you to have a cry about it, think about him often but most of all he'd want you to be happy. I think you just have to believe that he is watching down on us, guiding you (straight into footy obsession too by the looks of it! *That got a big smile!!*), and remember that he is always a part of you. I know it doesn't make it any easier, doesn't make it better and doesn't make him come back. You're right it's not fair. You were lucky to have a Poppy who adored you as much as he did, you were lucky to have so many fabulous times with him and to have so many memories that you can cherish!"

Yep, sometimes life is full of disappointments and let-downs but personally I think the key is to acknowledge the disappointment and all of the emotions you are feeling and not pretend it's all ok, to remember that the ones who love you the most don't want to hear that it's all good, all of the time, they want to hear how you truly feel, they want to wipe away your tears for you when they fall, they want to help you work through your anger or just give you a cuddle if you need it, they want to look after you and repay your kindness when its your turn to need them, they want to help fish through the disappointment to find out the 'good bits', after all no matter what amount of disappointment, there is ALWAYS GOOD BITS!!!

Keep smiling and thinking about all the "good bits" in your life,
Trish

Well of positivity

Take a moment to add a thought to the Well of Positivity. Mt Franklin (the water people!) will donate $1 to Breast Cancer Research for every thought dropped in the well. Follow the link to drop a thought in the well of positivity!

http://www.thewellofpositivity.com/

Keep smiling!
Trish

The Plot Thickens!!!

OMG! My daughter is getting married today and was so excited last night she couldn't sleep!! LOL!

I picked her up from preschool yesterday afternoon and she comes running up to me and says "guess what Mum, I'm getting marriiiiiieeeeeed tomorrow!" *huge smile* Um...what??? "Luke and me are getting married" she chirps again! Apparently, she and Luke were dancing cheek to cheek in the morning and her teacher said that they looked like they were doing a bridal waltz at a wedding and somehow from that it progressed to Emily and Luke are getting married today. I asked her what did Luke think and apparently he just nodded and said "Ok that would be fun"..how male is that!!!

So she HAD to wear a dress today (and she was very annoyed that she had grown out of her 2 white ones! LOL!) She chose another one with flowers on it because "it won't matter, Luke think I look pretty all the time, he tells me and I say and you look handsome and then he says I look beautiful and I say he is cute and we laugh and laugh and laugh!" OMG...let me remind myself how old are they again!?!?! Oh that's right 5 and 4!!! PMSL!

Anyway, looking forward to picking her up and seeing how her day went. Steve was worried last night and suggested that I talk to her to make sure she knew it wasn't a real wedding! LOL!
I have no idea what is going on today but her teachers assured me that they will take some pictures so I'll have to get some copies.

Keep smiling, my girl is in lurrrrrve!!! :)
Trish

Just a quick one

What a weekend!!! Emily and Jasmine have both had their birthdays (and both thought it was very cool that they were the same age for 2 whole days, although Matthew isn't quite as impressed that Jazzy is now the same age as him for the next few weeks!!!) I love seeing the girls together, they are such good friends. Jazzy has done a scrapping page of a pic of both of them and has even done hidden journalling (she was so excited about that!) which says "I love cousins Emily and Jasmine" Too cute!! Well Jazzy, Emily loves you too, as a cousin and as a best friend!!

Just a quick post though as I wanted to record a story which is too cute! Luke came to Emily's party yesterday so I finally got to meet his mum for more than a 2 second "Hi" She commented that she believed that Luke and Emily were really close. I said yes, she's prety excited that he is her boyfriend. She then told me that she was talking to Luke about the girls at preschool and he mentioned Breanna was Clayton's girlfriend. Luke's mum said I thought she used to be your girlfriend. Apparently Luke every so cooly explained "Yes she used to be. i used to have a few girlfriends but that was until I met the right one!!!" PMSL!!! How cute is that! They hardly left each other side at the party/ Sadly though he will be going to a different school :( Oh well, I suppose if it is true love, destiny will find a way to reunite you in the future! PMSL!!!

Anyway, I'm off to bed, I think I've now got the start of this dreaded flu...I hurt and feel yuk but being the mum in the house, there's no-one for me to whinge to, might have to ring my own mummy LOL!!! Muuuuuuuuuuuuum, I'm sick!! (and just for old times sake.....Why me?!?!

Keep smiling
Trish

Long time no blogging!

Well time flies when you're having fun...or so 'they' say! Who are 'they' and why are they always saying so much?? LOL!

So what has been happening?

Me

Back to uni and OMG! 5 subjects full time...I think I am insane! I just want to get this degree finished and get working...still a while to go though. Lots of work to do and because of how I have been doing this uni thing, I am all over the place, I have 1 1st yr subject, 2 2nd yr subjects, a 3rd yr subject and an elective, so sadly I don't really have any friends at uni. (poor Trishy!! PMSL!) Doesn't worry me too much although it would be nice to be able to run things through with someone. For now Steve gets to hear it all! Poor thing! But I feel like I am in a really great place at the moment, I love being really, really happy!!!

Steve

My husband has turned into super-domesticated hubby! OMG...I cannot thank him enough. I think he finally understands what I am trying to do and how stressed I get trying to be super-woman. We went to dinner at Tarsh and Glen's new house (so Keperra in her words LOL but they've done well!!) anyway, Tarsh commented that I was insane doing 5 subjects and having 3 kids and Steve commented that I was 'bright' and would be fine. Tarsh explained how tough she found it with no family. Whatever else she said has obviously made an impact because he has been amazing the last 4 weeks. We've generally had a fairly "traditional" household and I don't think he realises how much I appreciate him taking on more (doesn't mean I'll be helping with the mowing though ;) LOL!) I love you Stephen, regardless of whether you do stuff around the house or not, but everything you have been doing has not gone unnoticed and I really appreciate it!

Steve has also been busy for the last few weeks building Emily a cubby house for her birthday. OMG This thing eclipses the sun LOL! It looks incredible!

Here's a progress photo, he still has a bit to do but at least it is ready enough for her to play with on her birthday. She's been told she can't play in it or even go inside till her birthday and she has been so good and hasn't peeked at all! He had a tiny casualty while making it. I was at uni and I get a call asking what time I finish. When I told him 7pm, he paused and said, Oh OK. Then he told me he had knocked his head and it was still bleeding, but I'll be ok he said, don't worry. Well the fact that you called me at all...I'm worried. So I left uni, came home and took him to the dr. Nothing too major but they did put butterfly bandages on it and sent him home with a headache. We're still waiting to see if he'll have a scar...might wreck all of those modellign contracts he is always being offered :P Anyway, if it does scar, great story for her 21st!

Steve started back with Reece on Monday! He seems happy enough, just slotted back in from what I can gather! I think he is just treading water until I finish my degree when we can have 2 incomes and then maybe he can start persuing some of the things he wants to! Hang in there Steve, it will happen!! :D

Matthew

Matthew is sick, yep he's got the flu but of course, in true Matthew/male style, he's dying!!! Emily made me laugh yesterday, he was groaning and complaining about how sick he is, she whispers to me, what is his problem, he's not THAT sick! LOL! I did explain the whole male illness/pain threshhold gene that the male species seem to get so at least she's prepared for the future!!

He played his Auskick game at the Gabba and it was just as amazing as he had expected. He kicked a goal and a behind and got lots of possessions, so he is pretty proud of himself! He also got to meet the Lions, they all signed a poster for Matthew and Emily and Jonathon Brown signed Matty's jersey!

It is now his prized possession but he won't wear it because it is so special LOL! Got heaps of photos of course!!

It was a fabulous game too, they beat Carlton by 120-something points and Jonathon Brown kicked a club record amount of 10 goals! And then they got to hang around and meet all the fans....How amazing of the players to sit out there for so long meeting all the fans.

Mum came too and guess what...we've converted her! Tammie phoned me 2 weekends ago when Mum was over at her house to scrap together. I got a phone call "what have you done to our mother? She's sitting here watching the footy instead of scrapping" Go Shazz!!! Must be Jonothan's nice arms and tight little butt hey?? ;)

Matty also got 2 Principal Awards... 2 weeks running - 1 from a relief teacher and 1 from his teacher and both times for being such a good, well-behaved kid! When he got the 2nd one he asked his teacher if she knew that he had got it the previous week. She told him she hadn't known but it didn't matter, he deserved it! Blrrrggghhh!!! Seriously though, we are so proud of him. We're so proud of all of our children. We get so many compliments on what great kids they are and that is the biggest compliment anyone can give us. We think they are good kids but it means so much when someone else thinks so too. Also scares us a little...are we going to end up with ratbag, obnoxious teens?? Geez I hope not! LOL!

Emily

Emily will be 5 on Friday and to say she is excited would be the understatement of the century! She is sooooooooooooooooooo excited! She is having a party with her friends from pre-school and can't wait. Every morning she asks "How long to go?" She originally said she wanted a ballerina cake and thinking that I would be making the cake I subtly persuaded her to think of some other ideas. Finally she decided since Hi-5 is her favourite, she'd have a Hi-5 themed party and have a Hi-5 hand cake. Woohoo, I thought! I can do that...woohoo!!! Of course, Tammie is the cake lady in our family and so when Emily was talking to Tam, she whispers "Aunty Tam, can you make my cake? Mummy wants to make it but I want you to!!!" Hmph! Thanks for the confidence in me Emily! Mind you with the design specifications she is now putting forward, kinda glad she is insisting Tammie make it!

Emily has a boyfriend...sorry...she has "a very special friend who is a boy" called Luke! And he's good looking, well-behaved and keen on her too! They are so funny together. Her teachers tell us that it is so cute watching them. Apparently Luke has a best friend Clayton and Clayton gets very upset when Emily is there as Luke doesn't play with him! Oh dear, the girlfriend getting in the middle of a friendship scenario!!!

We were talking about Luke the other day and I asked her "How does Luke make you feel?" She got all giggly and a big smile on her face and told me that when she sees him she wants to give him a cuddle, she just wants to hug him all the time...awwwww!!!! She said the other day that at sleep time she woke up first and lay there and looked at him "and you know when you talk in your forehead and no-one can hear you, well I was saying in my forehead....Ooooh I like Luke, I want to give him a cuddle right now" Yep she's in love, in her forehead and out loud PMSL

Emily and Matthew tease each other about having a boy/girlfriend all the time. The girl of Matthew's (and nearly all of the grade 2 boy's) affection is Lily. Lily came up to him last week, gave him a cuddle and told him he was cute. He came home and confided to Steve that he was so happy because Lily had told him that. You could say he is a little smitten. She was in his class last year and he liked her then too!

Emily has also rediscovered her LOVE of drawing! She tells me she wants to be "an art teacher when I grow up..oh and a doctor, yep an art teacher and a doctor. (thinks for a second)... maybe I should be a doctor and an artist!" You can be whatever you want to be princess! She was starting to get funny about her art, trying to do it right so I have tried to explain that art is personal and it IS right if you do it how you think it looks right

Here are some recent pics of the crazy thing. She loves being active too, loves riding her bike and has started trying to ride without the training wheels. Still needs some practice but she is determined to master it!

Sarah

Sarah, still as cute as ever and still blowing us away with how well she talks! One of the Kindy teachers said the other day "it is so funny seeing someone that little talking like she does" Although I'd like her to stop telling things/people she hates them when it doesn't go her way. This morning she was trying to get some puzzle pieces to fit together "stupid puzzle, I hate this puzzle" PMSL! She's getting those pesky 2yo teeth and is dribbling like crazy but still pretty happy considering!

She's now at Kindy 2 days at week, while I am at uni and is loving it! On Wednesdays and Thursdays she grabs her bag and takes it to the car to go to Kindy and gets very upset when I tell her she's not going to Kindy! She loves Miss Nikki and accordng to her "Miss Nikki love me too" She is driving me nuts because she won't eat dinner, told me last night "I hate dinner" She eats ALL day though, always has a great breakfast and morning tea and lunch and afternoon tea so I'm not too concerned (and its not like she is underweight! Little tubby - just like the other 2 were at the same age!)

Other News

Spent the first week of August over at Straddie with Elle and Grant and kids for Thomas' birthday. As always, had a fabulous time spending time with them. Its become kinda tradition and it feels like some weird scene from The Joy Luck Club or How to Make an American Quilt or Steel Magnolias or some other girly film. We all sit in the kitchen chatting, drinking and making/advising Tom's cake. Hope we're all there together icing and giving design advice (although some may call it criticism) for his 21st!!! Here's a pic of my gorgeous kids playing in the sandpit over there!

Had some sad news a few weeks ago. One of Emily's preschool friend's Mum died. I'd chatted to her often, she was such a lovely lady, so caring with her girls, always had the hugest smile and heartiest laugh. She had 2 daughters Cassie is Emily's age and Michaela is a few months older than Sarah. We were driving home from preschool and Em says "Cassie told me today that her Mum isn't going to be living with them anymore." I assumed that her parents must have split up until she continued telling me "her mum has gone to live with the fairies...no the angels" I nearly crashed the car!!! I got home and phoned preschool and Vanessa confirmed that she had passed away. Emily and I had a huge talk, I explained as best I could, with the limited information that I had, that yes she had died and did my best to answer so many questions that no-one has the answers too! We talked about how Cassie must be feeling and she was so worried about Cassie, wanting to know what she would say to her, how she could help her etc etc I told her that being a good friend meant being there ready to give her a hug or to talk if she need to but not making her talk about it if she didn't want to. Apparently she sat with Cassie holding her hand during a show the next day and gave her lots of cuddles!

We also talked about Poppy (Kevin). She has been having some intense dreams about him. She had a dream recently that Poppy came to give her a cuddle and kiss for her birthday and he was in her room but then she woke up and he wasn't there. She sounded so confused when she kept saying he was in my room but when I woke up he was gone!!!!! WOW!! She is like Kevin with her detemination and stubborness and they had a lovely relationship so maybe he is keeping an eye on her! Anyway, we started talking about why Poppy had gone to heaven, why he had died and how much she missed him. She ended up sobbing, crying out for Poppy and saying "But I miss him so much". It was so sad, there is absolutely nothing I could do to make it all better so we sat and hugged for ages and talked about all the funny things Poppy used to do and blew him some kisses!

Anyway, the preschool staff didn't seem to have many answers about what had happened which seemed strange but they did tell me when the funeral was. I was so sad for this little family, so sad that Kelly wouldn't get to see her kids grow up, was angry about how unfair that such a nice lady would be taken away from her kids. I kept thinking about my own kids and all the things I have left to say to them, that I want them to know, the things I want to see. I gave them all so many cuddles over those few days (and I usually give hundreds per minute anyway), reminded them how much I loved them and how proud I was of them. He death really got to me. Then I went to the funeral.......I was so shocked to learn that she had taken her own life. Apparently she had suffered depression for a very, very, very long time and somehow had got to the point that even those 2 gorgeous girls and her husband, who obviously adored her, couldn't help her see her way out of her own pain.

Suddenly I was so angry and sad and I felt like a fool. The first thing that I realised is to other people we can be anyone we want to be. You always hear warnings about people frauding people over the internet and pretending to be someone else but what about in real life. This lady was so happy and cheerful whenever I spoke to her yet she was obviously someone with so much emotional pain. I realise that I didn't know her that well but I would never have believed that behind that amazing smile and friendly nature was someone capable of ending their own life.

Anyway, Emily has invited Cassie to her party and I hadn't heard if she was coming. This morning her Dad called and I really felt for him. He cautiously asked if it would be OK if his other daughter came along and seemed so relieved when I said it would be fine. I really felt for him. Imagine how he must be feeling, all the new experiences he must be dealing with, the hurt, the anger, the saddness, trying to keep it all going for the girls when he must have so many questions, what-ifs etc! I wish I could tell him that he is doing a great job, that I think about him and the girls all the time and pray that they will get through today and all of the tomorrows. That I pray that the girls will grow up happy, never blame themselves for what happened to their mum. That they all stay together to build a happy future remembering that big smile and hearty laugh!

Anyway, that is one hell of a post!!! I was about to apologise for it being so long but to who? I'm not sorry at all that I am recording all of these feelings/thoughts etc and just wish I was better at blogging regularly!!!

Keep Smiling :D

Trish