Random Memories

Just wanted to record a few random memories of things the kids are saying at the moment (so I don't forget them!)

Sarah
* Her teachers are Biss Nikki, Biss Shelf (Miss Rochelle!)
* I love you five!

Emily
* Talking about how babies come out. I kept trying to explain without 'exact' details but she kept asking over and over again "but where do they actually come out?" So I told her. She looked at me puzzled and asked, "does it hurt?" I told her "a little but then you hold your little baby and it is all better" She looked at me with her little face scrunched up on one side and said "I am SO not ever having babies" LOL!

Sarah and Emily
Playing together ALL THE TIME! Sarah is going to miss Emily so much next year when she goes to school. They play "Babies" where usually Emily is the Mum and Sarah is the baby (occasionally they swap). It's so nice hearing them play and I realise I must be an OK Mum by the way they act and talk to their baby (lots of "darling, sweetheart, kisses, hugs and I love yous). They also play Kindy where Sarah is the Kindy Kid and Emily is the teacher (gee some of the kids in her class get in trouble a lot though LOL!) They play in the cubby a lot and have races in the Cozy Coupe car and the motorbike. They are such good friends!

Matthew
* "Oh that is lame"
* Steve, Matthew and I were watching TV this week and ANOTHER election ad came on. He stood up and looked at us and went off.....

"I am so sick of all of htese ads and I am sick of them picking on John Howard. He is trying his best. They keep blaming him for climate change but if people looked after water and turned lights off and looked after our planet then we wouldn't have to worry about climate change. But people do bad things and then blame John Howard. And work choices, well people need to work hard and then their bosses would want them to work and they wouldn't have to worry about work choices and not having a job. But nope, they blame John Howard. And how does Kevin Rudd think he'll do a better job? He might do a better job, but he might not. Why don't they try to fix things and not just come on TV and say how bad the other person is. That's not nice and bet they don't like it when people are mean about them so why be mean about each other......"

He continued on his soapbox for a bit longer while Steve and I just looked at each other and stifled our laughter! He was so passionate and 7!!! I don't think I even knew who the PM was at 7 let alone have an opinion on who to vote for. And for the record, it hasn't come from us. He watches the 5pm news most nights. When Kevin Rudd first became Labor leader, Matthew really liked him and kept suggesting I vote for him but he's been weighing up the argument and I think he's leaning towards John Howard now.

I've just called him in and asked him and for those still undecided about who to vote for, this is Matthew's opinion:

"Well I'd want to vote for both of them for different reasons. John Howard is being pushed around and people are being mean and that's not fair so I'd vote for him for that reason and because he's been doing OK. But I'd vote for Kevin Rudd because I don't want Peter Costello to be our Prime Minister so I'd choose him"

Hmmm....OK so I'm still undecided so I'll consult Matthew again....

I've told him you can only pick one so who would you pick? Amswer: Kevin Rudd because I really don't like Peter Costello!

LOL! I wonder if we'll see him in the future as a political correspondant or maybe in parliament himself?!?!

Anyway, in my usual style the little post I had intended to make has morphed into a huge story LOL!

Keep smiling (only 1 week until the election ads are finished LOL!)
Trish

Lots going on.....

Scrapbook City had their first Awards night on Saturday night. It's the weirdest feeling being so excited about meeting people for the first time that you already know so well. They have moved into a new shop which looks absolutely amazing!!! Leisa and Kerri put on a great night! They should be so proud of what they have created with Scrapbook City, although I am still working on getting them to open a northside branch ;)

So here we all are:






How gorgeous are we!!! LOL! Thanks Katie for the photo!! :D

I got to catch up with Sue (toby) again who deservedly won the Heritage section. My goodness I love her stuff!

I got to meet Kathy for the first time and you know sometimes you meet someone and think, now that is my kind of person, well Kathy is definitely my kind of person. She is happy and nice and friendly and funny and talks heaps LOL! After all of our games on the Scrapbook City forum, I was really looking forward to meeting her. I also wanted to make sure that she knew I am insane and my comments are always made with a smile! That's the hard thing about forums and internet communication, you lose the other parts of communication that help communicate meaning so sometimes I have to wonder if people think I am weird! LOL! Luckily Kathy has understood what I have meant in my posts although she probably still thinks I am weird! LOL!

Got to see Linda again. Linda is just the sweetest and happiest person and another person that is just a pleasure to be around. Although apparently she wasn't so impressed by my Magic Vending Machine Gift of 1 month's free baby sitting by Brittney Spears. LOL! Go figure!?!?

Jen is exactly like I had pictured her to be - another fun lady!! I was so thrilled that she won the Pet Layout Award. She had created the most gorgeous layout of her little buddy, (Mr Birdles) who had sadly passed away the day she did the layout. Everyone had tears in their eyes when she gave her speech.

Everyone is just so darn nice! Niss, Sue, Katie, Debbie, Ronnie, it was so good to put faces to names and get to kow them a bit better.

It was such a lovely night and I was so excited (and hugely shocked!) to win 2 categories - Freestyle (won a MM tote!!!!) and Monthly Competition Categories (won a K&Co Album pack) and we got little trophies too which are pretty cool! These are the layouts:












{my} BOY - for the Scrapbook City Monthly Competition Winners Category. This kit was divine!!!




Journalling reads:
"I can still remember when you were born and the midwife announced that we had a son. I was thrilled but I remember thinking…A Boy?? But I don’t know what to do with a boy?” I was thinking of all the typical boy things…climbing, falling, getting dirty, bruises, pulling things apart, swallowing random objects, playing with cars and trucks, mud, funny bodily functions, loud, sweaty, smelly, playing ‘Superman’, trips to the emergency room, calls to poison information, walking on the roof, finding obscure places to put things, smelly, snips and snails and puppy dog tails….All very stereotypical I suppose, but that is what I was expecting with a son.

BUT you are NOT a ‘typical’ boy! We never childproofed with you, you’ve never swallowed anything weird, you don’t like or play with cars, trucks, superheroes or other “boy” toys. You never pull things apart, climb places you shouldn’t, you’ve had very few bruises and cuts. You are careful, safe, a worrier and we often joke you’ll have an ulcer by age 10! You may not be a stereotypical “boy” but you are MY boy and I love you just the way you are. {heart} Mum xo."

And Scrapbooking Memories have accepted it for publication too which is pretty darn exciting!!


And "this girl has SPUNK" for the Scrapbook City Freestyle Artist Category.
















This is not a category I would have ever thought I would have won LOL! I am usually so straight and linear and tidy in my scrapping. Everything gets measured and is straight but I enjoyed creating this laout soooo much. I made myslef do it quickly and just stick it down ie no time to move stuff and doubt what I was doing. I decided that if something ended up looking silly or in the wrong place then I would just keep adding stuff until it looked OK! LOL! Might have to use this technique more often, it certainly got the page done quicker than normal!

Here are all of the winners for the night:

Category 1: Scrapbook City Photography on a layout Award = "Flamingos" - Trackster
Category 2: Most Compelling Journalling Award = "Life's Journey" – Brendy
Category 3: Scrapbook City BTP Award = "Altered Watering Can" – Terri
Category 4: Scrapbook City Digital Layout Award "Mum & Dad Satisfied" - Scrappy_nat
Category 5: Scrapbook City Colour Artist = "Agnes" - Lauren Rhodes
Category 6: Scrapbook City Freestyle Artist = "This Girl has got Spunk" - Tish
Category 7: Scrapbook City Outstanding BOM Layout = "I am what I am" - Trudi
Category 8: Scrapbook City Outstanding Boy Layout = "Rockstar" - Niss
Category 9: Scrapbook City Outstanding Girl Layout = "Beautiful" - Loulou
Category 10: Scrapbook City Outstanding Baby Layout = "3445 grams" - Madscrapbooker
Category 11: Scrapbook City Outstanding Family Layout = "Suddenly" – Kezzie
Category 12: Scrapbook City Outstanding Non-Person Layout = "Lit Chic" - Gigi
Category 13: Scrapbook City Outstanding Pet Layout = "My Little Buddy" - Jen
Category 14: Scrapbook City Outstanding Heritage Layout = "Shirley & Elve" – toby
Category 15: Scrapbook City Outstanding Holiday Layout = "Distant Dreams" - Ronnie
Category 16: Scrapbook City Outstanding Double Page Layout = "Christmas Pressies" - Ronnie
Category 17: Scrapbook City Outstanding Card = "Thinking of Scallops" - KathyJ
Category 18: Scrapbook City Outstanding Photography (not on layout) = "Dragonfly on a Waterlily" - Laraine McIntosh
Category 19: City Cybercrop Champion = "Beauty" - Tracy Firth
Category 20: Monthly Competition Winner = "My Boy" - Trish

Congratulations to all the winners and finalists. Amazing job by everyone!

After the Awards Night Tam and I went and had a quiet drink at the Monier Hotel. It was SOOOOOO nice to sit and chat without kids. We love our kids but I can't remember the last time we could chat without worrying about fights, food, kids getting in to things they shouldn't, wiping bottoms, drinks etc etc while trying to hold a conversation! The joke used to always be "you shit me but I love ya" (meant in an endearing way of course. I started saying it when she was "an annoying teen of 13" and I was an "oh so mature 17 year old"!! LOL!) Tam, you don't shit me at all anymore, I just love ya to bits!! It was so nice to spend the time together and have Sunday morning together too!

Here are a few more layouts I have done lately:










Willing To Try was also for the SBC Monthly Kit Competition (did I mention I loved this kit!!!)







Journalling reads:
Emily, I love the fact that you give things a go. Whether it be different food (for example prawns) or trying something new. This day I remembered being at preschool and being too scared to go down the firemans pole. It took me until my last day to really try, yet here you are, just started preschool ad you gave it a try. I'm so proud of you and how you will "give it a go".

Scrapbooking Memories have also accepted this one for publication which I was pretty excited about too.


Emily is thrilled that she's going to be in the "mazagine" again but now that she is going to be in there and Matthew too she wants me to tell the "mazagine" that they need to put Sarah in there too or Sarah will be sad. How sweet is she!!!








This was also for the Kit Comp. The journalling is pretty honest and a little heavy. I really struggled with Emily from when she was 2 years old until earlier this year. We've had a bumpy few years but now we get along so well and things are fabulous between us. I have wanted to do a layout on this for ages so I am glad I finally have. Here's the journalling if you want to read it:



Verse from a Barbara Streisand song "Clear Sailing" (which I did a modern ballet solo to for many years) is in top left hand corner -

"Now I look into your eyes
The colour of a quiet sea
Cast my love upon the tide
Watch it return to me
Now I'm feeling fine
I can tell the storm has passed
For the last time
It's gonna be clear sailing
From now on. "

Emily, the verse from this song says exactly how I feel now. To be honest, it’s been a long bumpy road for you & I. It began when you were about 2. At the time, I put it all down to the “terrible 2’s” & you trying to assert your independence & be your own person.

At first you would just be defiant & stubborn & throw tantrums & I’d do the best I knew how to do to work through it. But it got worse & to be honest with you, I didn’t know how to handle it. I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me as a mum. Dad didn’t have the same troubles, no matter what he asked you to do; you did without question, so I started to think that it must be me. You would fly off the handle so easily, you would defy every little thing I asked. It didn’t matter how I tried to handle the situation…I tried being extremely nice, praising you when you were good, I tried smacking you, putting you on the ‘thinking step’ (actually you virtually lived on that step for a long time), I tried ignoring your behaviour, I broke down in tears in front of you many times, I yelled, I ranted, I raved, I took deep breathes & calmly tried to reason with you…no matter what, nothing worked. Your kindy teachers were always telling me what a gorgeous young girl you were & how well behaved you were so then I knew it wasn’t you, & started blaming myself more & more. I started to think that maybe you & I would never get along. It broke my heart. When I was pregnant & found out that you were a girl, I was so exited. I was elated - I always dreamed of having a daughter. But this wasn’t how I had imagined it to be. Part of me was so happy that you had so much spark & independence & that you knew how to stand up for yourself. But it really started to get to me, I got more & more depressed, kept blaming myself for whatever it was that should have been between us & just wasn’t. I absolutely hate to admit it now, but I didn’t enjoy being with you at all. The thing is, I know that you weren’t enjoying being with me either & I don’t blame you, I wasn’t fun to be with.

In July 2006, Dad realised that I needed to get away & sort myself out & organised for me to go away for a week by myself. During my week away, I thought so much about where I was at & so much about you & what was going wrong. I started to really think about why & this is what I believe contributed to the situation…

Matthew had been diagnosed with Diabetes in April 2004 when you were just 18 months old. I cannot begin to explain how that rocked my world. I did my absolute best to keep it all together, stay positive, to learn as much about it as I could. Then Sarah was born in May 2005. Poppy got really sick. There was a lot going on! I think back now & realise how it must have felt for you. Sarah was being breastfed so was always with me. Matthew was still adjusting to life with Diabetes, as was I, & I was trying my hardest to make everything positive for him. You didn’t need me in the same way as the others did. I mean I know you needed me but you didn’t need me physically like they did. Sarah needed me to feed her, change her, do everything for her. Matthew needed me to test him, give him injections, correct hypos etc etc. I now realise that I was barely coping & because you didn’t need me physically, I wasn’t doing as much physically with you. I think you were trying to tell me that you were there too & that you needed me too. You couldn’t say it in words so you used tantrums, fights & bad behaviour. I think in your eyes bad attention from me was better than the limited attention that you thought you were getting. Don’t get me wrong, I was still there for you & I kept telling you how much I loved you. I never stopped loving you! Never ever think that! I adore you, I always have & I always will, through both the good & the bad times.

Anyway, my week away didn’t immediately solve the problem. We had a lot to work through. I had a lot to work through. My biggest realization during that week was that I was angry about Diabetes coming in to our lives. I hate it & I have hated it ever since the doctor first mentioned the word. I hate that it has brought needles & testing into our lives, I hate that it makes us clock watch all of the time. I hate that it has made Matthew have to accept more responsibility than he should have to at his age. I hate that it has made you take on extra responsibility that you should never have had to either. I hate what it did to me. I hate that it turned me into such an angry person. I was trying to stay positive to convince myself & all of us that we could deal with this in our family when all I wanted to do was scream that I hated it. & so, nearly 3 years after it came into our lives, I finally cried & cried about it & admitted how much I hated it. I also realised how much anger I had stored up. But my most devastating realisation was what it had done to you & I.

I came back from my week away intent on making things between us right. I knew that it would probably get worse before it got better (& it did!) I knew that I had to crack down on your behaviour, to gain your respect & make you realise that I was the boss. I also knew that I had to make you realise how much I love you & what an important part of our family you are. & then earlier this year, we were talking & I said “I love you so much, you are such an important part of our family”. You stopped, looked at me & said “you love me like you love Matthew & Sarah, don’t you.” It was almost like you needed confirmation, that you were starting to believe it but needed the reassurance that it was true. “Yes sweetheart I love you just as much as I love Matthew & Sarah. I love all of you exactly the same – up to the moon, around the stars & back again”. & it’s true, I do! We’re good friends, just like I had always dreamed!

I suppose I could have left all of this unsaid. I am sure you won’t remember any of it so I could have left it out of your life story but I have chosen to tell you for quite a few reasons. Firstly, I want you to know all of this for when you have your own children. Maybe you will go through something similar, maybe you won’t, but if you do, I want you to know that its not always clear sailing & sometimes you have to work hard for what you love. Secondly, I want you to always know how important you are to me. I love you so much Milly. You put a smile on my face & I am so glad to be your mum. I am so proud of the person you are & I don’t think you will ever fully realise how much I appreciate the relationship we have now. So as I said, the verse to this song seems so appropriate. I look into your big blue eyes, give you my love & feel it returned to me. Now I feel fine, I can tell the storm has passed. It’s going to be clear sailing from now on.

{heart} Mum xoxo

This was for Challenge 1 in the last SBC Cybercrop. Based on a sketch but I didn't upload in time. I lay down with Steve and woke up at 7am the next morning! Getting old huh!!!











Journalling:
Sarah you are or 3rd child - my last baby! I am trying to enjoy every minute, and with you, that's not hard to do. Love Mum"



You can't really tell in the photo but there are little dots made with Dimensional Magic all around the outside of the layout and around the circle.







This one was done for Friday Night Games at Embellished a few weeks ago. The challenge was it had to be themed around "The Simple Things". I won it that week and got a $20 voucher which was brilliant!!!





Journalling is under the flowers and reads:

"There are 1000's of $'s worth of toys here but you got so much enjoyment out of a box - Hours of fun making it a car, a house, lots of things. Pleasure from the simplicity of a box. Sarah, 2007."

Well that's about it I think. This sure is one super-post though!

Keep smiling,
Trish

Marnie

I just realised that I never posted this, it was in my drafts folder waiting me to finish it and add some photos.

From 28th August 2007: "Funny how even though sometimes you know things are coming they still take you by complete surprise. Michael phoned me a little while ago to tell me that Marnie (my grandmother) has passed away. I don't even know what to think. Most of me is glad that she is finally with Poppa again, that her pains are gone, that she isn't just living out the days. I know that she is where she wants to be and I feel at peace with that. But part of me is so, so sad that she is actually gone. It's the end of a generation, our matriarch has gone.

She was such a massive part of our lives growing up. We spent so much time with her. Shopping trips to Super-Kmart. We'd have sleep overs and she play motels with us and we put our orders in for room service and she delivered them to our bedrooms on a tray and we'd giggle at how funny it was. There are so many memories and all of them are good. She was fun! She taught me to do crosswords and find-a-word puzzles (I never got cryptic crosswords though but she persisted in trying to teach me LOL!) She had great advice - "There's a time for everything" and even when I was about to have Matthew "well it's gotta get out somehow" LOL! Christmas Day was always spent at her and Poppa's house and were always so much fun. Then we'd head back on Boxing Day to sit under the house, the cricket would be on the TV, Poppa would be manning the bar with us kids sitting on the other side of the bar chatting and we'd be fascinated by the little lady in the bottle (or whatever it was).

I was her first grandchild and apparently I was spoilt rotten for quite some time (It was nearly 3 years before I got any cousins, then 4 of them crashed my party in the one year ;) haha!!) I used to always joke and say, "I'm your favourite, it's OK you can say it" and she'd always laugh and say "No, but I've loved you the longest" :) She thought Steve was wonderful and used to tell me all the time "you 2 have just got it you know, I can see it, you're each other's best friend, and you've just got it" I'm so glad she got to meet Matthew, Emily and Sarah. I can remember I called in to her place when I left hospital after Matthew was born and she was so excited. She kept saing to Poppa "Oh look Dick, this is our great-grandson, you know we started this" He just sat in his chair and nodded, the kind of nod that I knew he was just as tickled about it as she was!

I took Matthew around to her place one day when Matthew was only a few weeks old and I had little denim overalls on him. She told me off. She said "what's this? Little babies should be in bonnets and booties not this kind of thing, there's a time for everything and his time will come for wearing these kind of clothes, don't wish his life away." Mum was with me and tried to defend me saying that babies don't wear those type of clothes anymore and that he didn't suit them anyway. She stood by what she thought. So a week or so later, I took him around again but this time he was in a knitted bonnet, knitted booties and a knitted gown. She took one look, laughed out loudly, looked at me and said "Oh very funny, now get those ridiculous things off him"

I know she is in a better place, back where she belongs, in the arms of her "boyfriend" (yep after 50-something years of marriage she still referred to Poppa as her boyfriend..and yes they still held hands and cuddled like highschool sweathearts too).

This picture was taken on our Easter picnic in 2006 and shows the 4 generations of girls in our family:









Me (gotta love the hat hair!), Emily, Mum holding Sarah and Marnie.




And this photo was taken at Ethan's Christening in 2005:










Mum, Marnie, Me (pregnant with Sarah) and Emily.


Marnie, you were a wonderful grandmother and I am so grateful we had you in our lives for as long as we did. You provided such a wonderful example of what marriage is and always showed us how important family is. You gave lots of good advice that we all listened too and cherish dearly.

And I loved you the longest too :)
Trish {kiss kiss oowah oowah}

Whats in a name?

Saw this on Rachel Grieg's blog and thought it was a bit of fun:

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car).
Tracy Falcon Rock on dude!!!

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie).
Chocolate TimTam - Scary huh?!?!

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name).
T-Lat - The t-lat is in da house!!?!? Hmmmmm.....???

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal).
Pink Elephant - Yep the very elusive pink elephant! PMSL!

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born).
Yolanda Brisbane - I knew one day I would find a good use for my middle name!! Maybe Yolanda Brisvegas sounds better?!?!

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 3 letters of your first).
LatTri - thats pretty crappy....

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink).
The Blue Diet Coke - getting better...although would you really shriek in distress, help me Blue Diet Coke?!?! What about the Blue Southern Comfort?!!?

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers).
Dick Colin or Colin Dick - Hmmm...probably better suited to the next question...

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy).
Summer Rain Chocolate - Oooh, how exotic!!

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ).
Christine Maurice - If I ever have to go into witness protection I can guarantee I won't be using THAT!!

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter).
McArdle Miami - and now we're crossing to McArdle Miami for our weather?!?!

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower).
Spring Iris - moonlighting as The Pink Elephant??

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”).
Orange Panties - exactly what kind of cartoon????

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree).
Coffee Fig - only tree I can think of!!

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”).[/quote]
The Scrapbooking Rain Tour - Yep that'll drag the crowds in!!!

Looks like I better stick with my real name!!

Keep smiling!
Trish

Really, really quick post

Some fabulous news regarding my friend, Kate....its not cancer after all...God love that 1%!!!!! LOL! She has autoimmune pancreatitis. Now I still have to look that up to see what it actually is. She still had some pretty intense surgery too and I'm guessing the diagnosis is still not the best news to get but it's not cancer and THAT is fantastic!!! Thanks big guy upstairs!! ;)

Quick layout share: Havne't scrapped in AGES and just felt the need on the weekend so I did, should have been studying but I just needed to chill out a bit!

Anyway, not sure if I like the "This Look" one but love the pic and story behind it. Love the circle one though if you don't mind me saying so! LOL!




Celebrated another trip around the sun....33 times now! Isn't that a very cool number! I think so but I may just be trying to look at my aging in a positive light LOL!!

I'm cheating here and copying my post from my happy birthday wishes from the girls at Scrapbook City.......

I had a great day. Had all my family over here which was nice, had Thai for dinner (which my kids and DH don't eat so big treat for me, the things that excite me these days LOL!)

Kids all chose their pressies for me which was sweet and quite funny. When the kids had asked what I wanted I said I really needed a new wallet, also told Steve and explained that I really needed one with more room for cards. Anyway, he took the kids shopping and Emily found one that she insisted I would love. Steve tried to talk her into something else but she told him "It's my present to Mummy and I pick this one" So I now have a bright pink wallet with 3 butterfly, flower and heart charms hanging off it with 3 card slots.

Then Sarah sent Steve on a wild goose chase. For Emily's birthday about a month ago Steve built her a cubby. So what did Sarah want to get Mummy? Yep a cubby!! "A little cubby!" So from her I have the cutest little carry along doll house "cubby".

And then Matthew....he knows his mother well...he got me the biggest box of Maltesers I have ever seen because "Mum loves chocolate and if we get a really big box we can have some too"

DH got me a new mobile phone and one of the new Basic Grey magnetic mats. Can't wait to use it!!

I had a great day, found a few more grey hairs but life's good!!

Anyway, gotta fly, assignment due this arvo....argh!!!!!!!!

Keep stressing, I mean, keep smiling!
Trish

So I don't forget....

I'm currently doing some research about Conductive Hearing Loss for an assignment and also heard something about our neighbours son today that has reminded me of something that I wanted to record so I didn't forget....

When Sarah was a few months old I started to notice that she wasn't reacting to the noise that Matthew and Emily would make when playing, fighting etc. Often she would be asleep in the lounge room and one or both of them would come into the lounge room laughing and yelling and making a lot of noise and she'd sleep through it, without stirring at all. OK so she is a deep sleeper I thought. But then I started to notice that when she was awake and they came running in she wouldn't react either. So I started "testing" her. I mentioned it to Mum too and she started "testing" her with me. We'd stand behind her and call her name, clap our hands, make noise etc to see how she reacted. Sometimes she'd hear, other times she wouldn't.

Her hearing test from birth had come back normal but still I was starting to get a little worried. Then one day, she was asleep in the lounge room and the front door slammed shut. It scared her and she woke screaming. Still I wasn't completely comforted as I have a friend whose mother is quite deaf and can hear certain sounds, slamming doors being one of them. But then someone came to the front door and when this stranger spoke, Sarah woke and reacted and had obviously heard them.

Suddently it dawned on me. Her hearing was fine!!! What she wasn't hearing was always Matthew and Emily and their noise. She had obviously trained herself to block out their noises. I mean let's face it if she hadn't she would never have slept would she?!?! :D

I can't tell you though the panic I felt. I did think "what if she is deaf? What will life be like for her if she can't hear" I worried about it .. a LOT! I prayed that her hearing was OK and thankfully it was/is.

Then today, Steve was next door talking with our neighbours and learnt that their 40-something year old son started losing his hearing at 8 years of age and was deaf from 12 years of age. About a year ago he had a cochlear implant and for the first time was able to speak to his parents on the telephone. How amazing is that!!! Ken was telling Steve that the first time he phoned and spoke to his mum on the phone, she broke down in tears. Technology truly is amazing!!!

On a really sad note though, I heard some bad news today about a friend of mine from high school, one that I have only recently got back in contact with (thanks to Facebook!) anyway, this friend has recently found out that she more than likely has Cancer (apparently 99% sure). The prognosis is not the best apparently as it is in her pancreas and surrounding area. She is going into hospital on Wednesday for surgery.

Please talk to the big man upstairs and ask him to help her out. She's only 32 for goodness sake. She has a LOT to live for and a LOT left to do. This girl made me laugh every single day in Grade 12, (geez we had some laughs) She and her boyfriend and family doesn't deserve this kind of news. Well no-one does but...well you know what I mean. So pray, pray, pray that technology IS amazing and that in a year from now she'll be looking back on this as simply a distant bad dream!

And on that note......
try to keep smiling :)
Trish

Happy Birthday Kelley!

I'm in the middle of frantically trying to finish an assignment that is due in today but I wanted to wish Kelley a HUGE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you have the best day, you deserve it.

If there is anyone out there reading this, make sure you pop over to her blog (link in sidebar----->) and leave her a big Happy Birthday comment.

Love ya heaps, Hugs,
Trish

Hope is in a Cure

This link was forwarded to me today through the CWD - Parents of Children with Diabetes support list. I thought it was a fabulous video that shows the positives as well as some of the not-so-positives!! Oh and for the record, Matthew doesn't have a pump, maybe one day but not yet, and I have never injected into his arm...owww!!!! OUCH! :D



Hope is in a cure and we gotta believe that it will happen.

Keep Smiling and always hoping!
Trish

I rock and I share LOL!

Thanks Tam.....I think???! I rock?!?! Hmmm...I'm trying to be a better blogger. Tammie, I think we need to remind each other to blog OK?!!

I'm not going to tag 5 people because 1) no-one reads my blog anyway; b) anyone who does has already been tagged and c) I don't think I read 5 blogs!! LOL!

Anyway, not much happening, meant to be working on 2 assignments so better get in to it. Matthew has a class prayer/celebration thing today and he doing a reading, so the girls and I are going up to join in.

Nothing much else to say at the moment but I think it is because I am feeling guilty that I should be studying. I haven't done any scrapping for AAAAAGGGGGGEEEEESSSS, but I'll leave with the last lot of layouts I have done and not uploaded here. Most were done while I was away for my week end of June.

Snuggle: This was done for a cybercop. Challenge was to create your own patterned paper and to use a technique you have either never tried or only tried once. mine was using a mask, love them just never think to use them. All "patterned paper" on this page was made with staps or white dots/doodles etc. Sarah and Uncle Mikey on her birthday.

So Loved: This was done at a Scrapbook City crop as part of a 1,2,3 follow me. I (and everyone there) chose a photo and the background cardstock and then moved on to someone else's spot and had to add things (first pp, then title, then embellishment, then something else). So this page is a joint creation by the girls at the crop. I finished it off with some dots.

More Birthday Hugs: Based on a skecth by Alicia Barry. Love these papers, so pretty!

Breathless: I am so happy with this layout, I just love these photos of Emily (except for her little tushie hanging out the top of her pants?!?!! Gotta love the strategically placed HS flower!!!), love these papers too. Thinking about adding the title breathless somewhere though. Journalling reads: "There are days that your beauty takes my breath away. Today, watching you lying at the beach busy daydreaming, I was completely breathless."

Another Dad's Girl: Originally this was for the final round of Reality Scrap but I didn't get it done and only needed at least 1 of the 3 layouts done (I managed 2). It was meant to have 3 photos but I was forcing it trying to use 3 and figured that it was more important to have it the way I wanted it rather than forcing it to fit. Not sure if you can read the journalling but it basically explains how I was concerned how Steve would be with another princess because Emily is SUCH a daddy's girl.

Doing The Show: Matthew used to always be the Wiggles when he was younger and was always "doing the show" so this layout is about that! Emily also liked to join in, love how she is holding the guitar LOL!

SpongeBob: This was started ages ago for a Round Robin challenge on Scrapbook City where we had to scraplift the layout uploaded before us. I had to scraplift one of Gigi's layouts. i love her layout and don't think I really did it justice but I'm just glad to have this story recorded!

Cheese: Done for Scrapbook City cyber crop a while ago, can't remember the rules but I followed them LOL! Sarah's Cheese face, everytime the camera comes out..."Cheeeese"

Flutter: Love this layout, love this photo and it turned out exactly how I wanted it to. I always say to Emily that when she gives me cuddles, she makes my heart flutter so I wanted to do a layout to remember this.

Jasmine: My gorgeous niece Jasmine, how beautiful is this photo of her!!!! Lots and lots and lots of tiny jewels. They took forever to individually stick on but I love how it turned out!

Keep smiling :)

Trish

Sometimes life is full of disappointments and letdowns

Maybe all brides feel a certain letdown after their wedding, the months of planning, excitement building and then it is all over. But when you only find out you are getting married the day before, you'd think there wouldn't be a letdown! Unless of course you think you are really getting married and it turns out your wedding is only pretend!

Looks like Daddy was right, Emily did think she was really getting married. She was so disappointed yesterday afternoon because "I didn't get married like you did in your video". She had fun (except didn't like everyone looking at her when she was walking down the aisle!) and she liked having Meggie as her flower girl, Michael gave her away, Cassie and Alei were her other bridesmaids (Tiana wasn't there so she couldn't be her as her other bridesmaid too). She didn't like wearing "that material thing on my face". Luke even had a ring for her. So with a bit more fishing, she did enjoy it even though she is a bit disappointed that she's not really married! Steve told her last night that she wasn't allowed to get married until she is 18 and all she could say is But why not???

She is also really upset at the moment that Luke is going to a different school and wants to know why she can't go to Luke's school. He drew her a picture yesterday to keep in her room next year and he told her that she can look at it all the time and remember him! I think I'm going to have to organise with Luke's Mum for some play dates from time to time until they move on. LOL

Lots of uni work to do yet again and this last week and a half, have really thrown me out of routine. I've had the most horrible headaches and have missed uni and have been struggling to concentrate. Matthew said this is how he felt last week so hopefully they will be gone really soon so I can get some more work done on all of my assignments.

Marnie is in hospital. She had a fall on Monday and they took her up to the RBH. She's ok but they are doing lots of tests and reorganising all of her medication. She has been having back pain for a long time but no reason has been found and so her GP finally put her on these patch things to help with the pain. The dr at the hospital hates the patches and has taken her off them. he says they are way too strong and are possibly the reason she had the fall. So she is in there for lots of tests and assessment until the end of the week. In this time they are also hoping to have lots of assessment done regarding extra in home care for her, so hopefully once she is home she will have more frequent visits by blue-care, VA etc (or whatever it is) . Just need to convince the stubborn old thing that it is OK to accept the help ("she doesn't want anyone in her home all the time" LOL!) She's doing so well but needs to understand that she has reached the age of needing a little care and THAT IS OK!!!

It's horrible knowing that she is getting old, weaker etc. She was soooo much fun, so energetic and vibrant and strong and stubborn and dependable when we were young. So many memories with her, we spent so much time with her and she was a fabulous grandmother. She was always there for everything we did, so interested in everything we did. I know it is part of life and growing old but it is horrible seeing her not having the same interest in things like she used to. I know it must be hard living like she is (sadly most of her is just living and going through the motions of life because she has to IYKWIM) but I just wish more of that spark was still there. I wish she wanted to be interested in things still. I know there is interest to a certain extent but at the same time, there's not! She can't hear properly so it makes it hard to talk with her.

I haven't been a good granddaughter at all and have been thinking about her a lot lately. I don't visit her (partly because I'm allergic to the cat) but if I really wanted to I would cope with it wouldn't I! I'd try to find something for the allergy. I'm not even sure why I don't go. Sure I don't like seeing her old but she's my grandmother.... I don't know...I'm rambling and probably not making a lot of sense. I think I just hate old age! I hate seeing people shrink. To a large extent I think I resent old age. I don't understand why some people are left to live to the point of wanting to die (like Steve's grandmother...she used to say I ask God everyday to just take me but he doesn't), why some people outlive their dignity and independence and pride. Why some people die way too young with everything ahead of them. Why young kids get sick and die while some people live longer than they want to. Kinda seems drastically unfair doesn't it! Don't get me wrong, she's so capable still, her mind is with it etc, I just don't think she really wants to be here anymore, I think she just wants to be with Poppa! Anyway....

Funny isn't it how life turns out...you start out as a baby needing lots of care and attention, then you become the one who gives the care and attention to your own kids, then you look after your parents and give them care and attention (kinda like paying them back for looking after you as a baby) and then comes the time that you get paid back, being looked after by your kids! Maybe instead of getting angry and frustrated with my kids at times, I should just keep a mental note and use it all as pay back when my time comes! LOL

While we are on a downer....Poor Matthew got so, so upset on Monday night. He and Steve stopped at the petrol station and he saw someone who looked like Poppy. He lost it. He cried and cried and cried. He expressed how much he missed Poppy, how much he wished he was here to watch him play footy, go to games etc, how unfair it is that he doesn't have any grandfathers at all ("Poppy isn't here and I never even got to meet your Dad!"), that he just wishes Poppy was still here. Broke our hearts but it needed to happen. He hasn't really, fully let it all out yet so obviously this was his time. But what do you say to him? He's right, it does suck that he doesn't have any grandfather at all. It does suck that Kev missed seeing him be the footy nut he is. It does suck that he can't share Kev's love of footy etc with him. Sometimes, life is unfair. And I've learnt that it's important not to pretend it is all good and turn it all into a positive so I was honest with him.

"Yes mate, it's not fair, its not fair at all and I get angry too. But I know that Poppy wouldn't want you to be sad forever, he'd want you to have a cry about it, think about him often but most of all he'd want you to be happy. I think you just have to believe that he is watching down on us, guiding you (straight into footy obsession too by the looks of it! *That got a big smile!!*), and remember that he is always a part of you. I know it doesn't make it any easier, doesn't make it better and doesn't make him come back. You're right it's not fair. You were lucky to have a Poppy who adored you as much as he did, you were lucky to have so many fabulous times with him and to have so many memories that you can cherish!"

Yep, sometimes life is full of disappointments and let-downs but personally I think the key is to acknowledge the disappointment and all of the emotions you are feeling and not pretend it's all ok, to remember that the ones who love you the most don't want to hear that it's all good, all of the time, they want to hear how you truly feel, they want to wipe away your tears for you when they fall, they want to help you work through your anger or just give you a cuddle if you need it, they want to look after you and repay your kindness when its your turn to need them, they want to help fish through the disappointment to find out the 'good bits', after all no matter what amount of disappointment, there is ALWAYS GOOD BITS!!!

Keep smiling and thinking about all the "good bits" in your life,
Trish

Well of positivity

Take a moment to add a thought to the Well of Positivity. Mt Franklin (the water people!) will donate $1 to Breast Cancer Research for every thought dropped in the well. Follow the link to drop a thought in the well of positivity!

http://www.thewellofpositivity.com/

Keep smiling!
Trish

The Plot Thickens!!!

OMG! My daughter is getting married today and was so excited last night she couldn't sleep!! LOL!

I picked her up from preschool yesterday afternoon and she comes running up to me and says "guess what Mum, I'm getting marriiiiiieeeeeed tomorrow!" *huge smile* Um...what??? "Luke and me are getting married" she chirps again! Apparently, she and Luke were dancing cheek to cheek in the morning and her teacher said that they looked like they were doing a bridal waltz at a wedding and somehow from that it progressed to Emily and Luke are getting married today. I asked her what did Luke think and apparently he just nodded and said "Ok that would be fun"..how male is that!!!

So she HAD to wear a dress today (and she was very annoyed that she had grown out of her 2 white ones! LOL!) She chose another one with flowers on it because "it won't matter, Luke think I look pretty all the time, he tells me and I say and you look handsome and then he says I look beautiful and I say he is cute and we laugh and laugh and laugh!" OMG...let me remind myself how old are they again!?!?! Oh that's right 5 and 4!!! PMSL!

Anyway, looking forward to picking her up and seeing how her day went. Steve was worried last night and suggested that I talk to her to make sure she knew it wasn't a real wedding! LOL!
I have no idea what is going on today but her teachers assured me that they will take some pictures so I'll have to get some copies.

Keep smiling, my girl is in lurrrrrve!!! :)
Trish

Just a quick one

What a weekend!!! Emily and Jasmine have both had their birthdays (and both thought it was very cool that they were the same age for 2 whole days, although Matthew isn't quite as impressed that Jazzy is now the same age as him for the next few weeks!!!) I love seeing the girls together, they are such good friends. Jazzy has done a scrapping page of a pic of both of them and has even done hidden journalling (she was so excited about that!) which says "I love cousins Emily and Jasmine" Too cute!! Well Jazzy, Emily loves you too, as a cousin and as a best friend!!

Just a quick post though as I wanted to record a story which is too cute! Luke came to Emily's party yesterday so I finally got to meet his mum for more than a 2 second "Hi" She commented that she believed that Luke and Emily were really close. I said yes, she's prety excited that he is her boyfriend. She then told me that she was talking to Luke about the girls at preschool and he mentioned Breanna was Clayton's girlfriend. Luke's mum said I thought she used to be your girlfriend. Apparently Luke every so cooly explained "Yes she used to be. i used to have a few girlfriends but that was until I met the right one!!!" PMSL!!! How cute is that! They hardly left each other side at the party/ Sadly though he will be going to a different school :( Oh well, I suppose if it is true love, destiny will find a way to reunite you in the future! PMSL!!!

Anyway, I'm off to bed, I think I've now got the start of this dreaded flu...I hurt and feel yuk but being the mum in the house, there's no-one for me to whinge to, might have to ring my own mummy LOL!!! Muuuuuuuuuuuuum, I'm sick!! (and just for old times sake.....Why me?!?!

Keep smiling
Trish

Long time no blogging!

Well time flies when you're having fun...or so 'they' say! Who are 'they' and why are they always saying so much?? LOL!

So what has been happening?

Me

Back to uni and OMG! 5 subjects full time...I think I am insane! I just want to get this degree finished and get working...still a while to go though. Lots of work to do and because of how I have been doing this uni thing, I am all over the place, I have 1 1st yr subject, 2 2nd yr subjects, a 3rd yr subject and an elective, so sadly I don't really have any friends at uni. (poor Trishy!! PMSL!) Doesn't worry me too much although it would be nice to be able to run things through with someone. For now Steve gets to hear it all! Poor thing! But I feel like I am in a really great place at the moment, I love being really, really happy!!!

Steve

My husband has turned into super-domesticated hubby! OMG...I cannot thank him enough. I think he finally understands what I am trying to do and how stressed I get trying to be super-woman. We went to dinner at Tarsh and Glen's new house (so Keperra in her words LOL but they've done well!!) anyway, Tarsh commented that I was insane doing 5 subjects and having 3 kids and Steve commented that I was 'bright' and would be fine. Tarsh explained how tough she found it with no family. Whatever else she said has obviously made an impact because he has been amazing the last 4 weeks. We've generally had a fairly "traditional" household and I don't think he realises how much I appreciate him taking on more (doesn't mean I'll be helping with the mowing though ;) LOL!) I love you Stephen, regardless of whether you do stuff around the house or not, but everything you have been doing has not gone unnoticed and I really appreciate it!

Steve has also been busy for the last few weeks building Emily a cubby house for her birthday. OMG This thing eclipses the sun LOL! It looks incredible!

Here's a progress photo, he still has a bit to do but at least it is ready enough for her to play with on her birthday. She's been told she can't play in it or even go inside till her birthday and she has been so good and hasn't peeked at all! He had a tiny casualty while making it. I was at uni and I get a call asking what time I finish. When I told him 7pm, he paused and said, Oh OK. Then he told me he had knocked his head and it was still bleeding, but I'll be ok he said, don't worry. Well the fact that you called me at all...I'm worried. So I left uni, came home and took him to the dr. Nothing too major but they did put butterfly bandages on it and sent him home with a headache. We're still waiting to see if he'll have a scar...might wreck all of those modellign contracts he is always being offered :P Anyway, if it does scar, great story for her 21st!

Steve started back with Reece on Monday! He seems happy enough, just slotted back in from what I can gather! I think he is just treading water until I finish my degree when we can have 2 incomes and then maybe he can start persuing some of the things he wants to! Hang in there Steve, it will happen!! :D

Matthew

Matthew is sick, yep he's got the flu but of course, in true Matthew/male style, he's dying!!! Emily made me laugh yesterday, he was groaning and complaining about how sick he is, she whispers to me, what is his problem, he's not THAT sick! LOL! I did explain the whole male illness/pain threshhold gene that the male species seem to get so at least she's prepared for the future!!

He played his Auskick game at the Gabba and it was just as amazing as he had expected. He kicked a goal and a behind and got lots of possessions, so he is pretty proud of himself! He also got to meet the Lions, they all signed a poster for Matthew and Emily and Jonathon Brown signed Matty's jersey!

It is now his prized possession but he won't wear it because it is so special LOL! Got heaps of photos of course!!

It was a fabulous game too, they beat Carlton by 120-something points and Jonathon Brown kicked a club record amount of 10 goals! And then they got to hang around and meet all the fans....How amazing of the players to sit out there for so long meeting all the fans.

Mum came too and guess what...we've converted her! Tammie phoned me 2 weekends ago when Mum was over at her house to scrap together. I got a phone call "what have you done to our mother? She's sitting here watching the footy instead of scrapping" Go Shazz!!! Must be Jonothan's nice arms and tight little butt hey?? ;)

Matty also got 2 Principal Awards... 2 weeks running - 1 from a relief teacher and 1 from his teacher and both times for being such a good, well-behaved kid! When he got the 2nd one he asked his teacher if she knew that he had got it the previous week. She told him she hadn't known but it didn't matter, he deserved it! Blrrrggghhh!!! Seriously though, we are so proud of him. We're so proud of all of our children. We get so many compliments on what great kids they are and that is the biggest compliment anyone can give us. We think they are good kids but it means so much when someone else thinks so too. Also scares us a little...are we going to end up with ratbag, obnoxious teens?? Geez I hope not! LOL!

Emily

Emily will be 5 on Friday and to say she is excited would be the understatement of the century! She is sooooooooooooooooooo excited! She is having a party with her friends from pre-school and can't wait. Every morning she asks "How long to go?" She originally said she wanted a ballerina cake and thinking that I would be making the cake I subtly persuaded her to think of some other ideas. Finally she decided since Hi-5 is her favourite, she'd have a Hi-5 themed party and have a Hi-5 hand cake. Woohoo, I thought! I can do that...woohoo!!! Of course, Tammie is the cake lady in our family and so when Emily was talking to Tam, she whispers "Aunty Tam, can you make my cake? Mummy wants to make it but I want you to!!!" Hmph! Thanks for the confidence in me Emily! Mind you with the design specifications she is now putting forward, kinda glad she is insisting Tammie make it!

Emily has a boyfriend...sorry...she has "a very special friend who is a boy" called Luke! And he's good looking, well-behaved and keen on her too! They are so funny together. Her teachers tell us that it is so cute watching them. Apparently Luke has a best friend Clayton and Clayton gets very upset when Emily is there as Luke doesn't play with him! Oh dear, the girlfriend getting in the middle of a friendship scenario!!!

We were talking about Luke the other day and I asked her "How does Luke make you feel?" She got all giggly and a big smile on her face and told me that when she sees him she wants to give him a cuddle, she just wants to hug him all the time...awwwww!!!! She said the other day that at sleep time she woke up first and lay there and looked at him "and you know when you talk in your forehead and no-one can hear you, well I was saying in my forehead....Ooooh I like Luke, I want to give him a cuddle right now" Yep she's in love, in her forehead and out loud PMSL

Emily and Matthew tease each other about having a boy/girlfriend all the time. The girl of Matthew's (and nearly all of the grade 2 boy's) affection is Lily. Lily came up to him last week, gave him a cuddle and told him he was cute. He came home and confided to Steve that he was so happy because Lily had told him that. You could say he is a little smitten. She was in his class last year and he liked her then too!

Emily has also rediscovered her LOVE of drawing! She tells me she wants to be "an art teacher when I grow up..oh and a doctor, yep an art teacher and a doctor. (thinks for a second)... maybe I should be a doctor and an artist!" You can be whatever you want to be princess! She was starting to get funny about her art, trying to do it right so I have tried to explain that art is personal and it IS right if you do it how you think it looks right

Here are some recent pics of the crazy thing. She loves being active too, loves riding her bike and has started trying to ride without the training wheels. Still needs some practice but she is determined to master it!

Sarah

Sarah, still as cute as ever and still blowing us away with how well she talks! One of the Kindy teachers said the other day "it is so funny seeing someone that little talking like she does" Although I'd like her to stop telling things/people she hates them when it doesn't go her way. This morning she was trying to get some puzzle pieces to fit together "stupid puzzle, I hate this puzzle" PMSL! She's getting those pesky 2yo teeth and is dribbling like crazy but still pretty happy considering!

She's now at Kindy 2 days at week, while I am at uni and is loving it! On Wednesdays and Thursdays she grabs her bag and takes it to the car to go to Kindy and gets very upset when I tell her she's not going to Kindy! She loves Miss Nikki and accordng to her "Miss Nikki love me too" She is driving me nuts because she won't eat dinner, told me last night "I hate dinner" She eats ALL day though, always has a great breakfast and morning tea and lunch and afternoon tea so I'm not too concerned (and its not like she is underweight! Little tubby - just like the other 2 were at the same age!)

Other News

Spent the first week of August over at Straddie with Elle and Grant and kids for Thomas' birthday. As always, had a fabulous time spending time with them. Its become kinda tradition and it feels like some weird scene from The Joy Luck Club or How to Make an American Quilt or Steel Magnolias or some other girly film. We all sit in the kitchen chatting, drinking and making/advising Tom's cake. Hope we're all there together icing and giving design advice (although some may call it criticism) for his 21st!!! Here's a pic of my gorgeous kids playing in the sandpit over there!

Had some sad news a few weeks ago. One of Emily's preschool friend's Mum died. I'd chatted to her often, she was such a lovely lady, so caring with her girls, always had the hugest smile and heartiest laugh. She had 2 daughters Cassie is Emily's age and Michaela is a few months older than Sarah. We were driving home from preschool and Em says "Cassie told me today that her Mum isn't going to be living with them anymore." I assumed that her parents must have split up until she continued telling me "her mum has gone to live with the fairies...no the angels" I nearly crashed the car!!! I got home and phoned preschool and Vanessa confirmed that she had passed away. Emily and I had a huge talk, I explained as best I could, with the limited information that I had, that yes she had died and did my best to answer so many questions that no-one has the answers too! We talked about how Cassie must be feeling and she was so worried about Cassie, wanting to know what she would say to her, how she could help her etc etc I told her that being a good friend meant being there ready to give her a hug or to talk if she need to but not making her talk about it if she didn't want to. Apparently she sat with Cassie holding her hand during a show the next day and gave her lots of cuddles!

We also talked about Poppy (Kevin). She has been having some intense dreams about him. She had a dream recently that Poppy came to give her a cuddle and kiss for her birthday and he was in her room but then she woke up and he wasn't there. She sounded so confused when she kept saying he was in my room but when I woke up he was gone!!!!! WOW!! She is like Kevin with her detemination and stubborness and they had a lovely relationship so maybe he is keeping an eye on her! Anyway, we started talking about why Poppy had gone to heaven, why he had died and how much she missed him. She ended up sobbing, crying out for Poppy and saying "But I miss him so much". It was so sad, there is absolutely nothing I could do to make it all better so we sat and hugged for ages and talked about all the funny things Poppy used to do and blew him some kisses!

Anyway, the preschool staff didn't seem to have many answers about what had happened which seemed strange but they did tell me when the funeral was. I was so sad for this little family, so sad that Kelly wouldn't get to see her kids grow up, was angry about how unfair that such a nice lady would be taken away from her kids. I kept thinking about my own kids and all the things I have left to say to them, that I want them to know, the things I want to see. I gave them all so many cuddles over those few days (and I usually give hundreds per minute anyway), reminded them how much I loved them and how proud I was of them. He death really got to me. Then I went to the funeral.......I was so shocked to learn that she had taken her own life. Apparently she had suffered depression for a very, very, very long time and somehow had got to the point that even those 2 gorgeous girls and her husband, who obviously adored her, couldn't help her see her way out of her own pain.

Suddenly I was so angry and sad and I felt like a fool. The first thing that I realised is to other people we can be anyone we want to be. You always hear warnings about people frauding people over the internet and pretending to be someone else but what about in real life. This lady was so happy and cheerful whenever I spoke to her yet she was obviously someone with so much emotional pain. I realise that I didn't know her that well but I would never have believed that behind that amazing smile and friendly nature was someone capable of ending their own life.

Anyway, Emily has invited Cassie to her party and I hadn't heard if she was coming. This morning her Dad called and I really felt for him. He cautiously asked if it would be OK if his other daughter came along and seemed so relieved when I said it would be fine. I really felt for him. Imagine how he must be feeling, all the new experiences he must be dealing with, the hurt, the anger, the saddness, trying to keep it all going for the girls when he must have so many questions, what-ifs etc! I wish I could tell him that he is doing a great job, that I think about him and the girls all the time and pray that they will get through today and all of the tomorrows. That I pray that the girls will grow up happy, never blame themselves for what happened to their mum. That they all stay together to build a happy future remembering that big smile and hearty laugh!

Anyway, that is one hell of a post!!! I was about to apologise for it being so long but to who? I'm not sorry at all that I am recording all of these feelings/thoughts etc and just wish I was better at blogging regularly!!!

Keep Smiling :D

Trish

I so suck at this blogging thing!!!

OK, another blog entry in draft form from the 21st July, so again I am going to post it so I have it on my blog!...........

PMSL! Yep I suck at it. Although Sarah makes it very hard these days to sit at the computer for too long. She either wants to "sit on your lap Mummy" or "I get behind you and bwush your hair" yep she stands behind me on the computer seat and brushes my hair.....OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!


So its now 10pm and everyone is in bed. I was trying to access someone's blog and had to sign in to do so. I had tried a few weeks ago to log in but had forgotten my password so I persisted tonight and woohoo...I'm in! So I thought I really should update and try to get back to bloggin more regularly!

So what the heck has happened in the last few months since my last post??? Well i thought I'd put it in dot point form:

• Well reality Scrap wound up and Tam won!!! Woohoo...go Tam!!! The best thing I got out of the comp (other than some layouts that I really love) was spending so much time chatting with her, nutting out ideas together etc. Not that we were ever not close, but I think we are the closest now that we have ever been. No no Tam, you rock, seriously you do!! She has also started a new job and they have lots of exciting possibilities ahead of them.


• Michael is currently overseas and currently in Poland. Travelling with Russ so I am sure they are having an absolute HOOT! leading each other astray (in a responsible way of course!!! PMSL!) So proud of you Mikey....wouldn't you just love to meet up with Ms Stocker and tell her to stick your life up her....up her sleeve?!?! LOL!


• I had my week away like I did last year. Last year I was in such a horrible place mentally that I hardly left my room and didn't even know that the place I stayed at had a pool, mini-golf etc. This year, I stayed up at Noosa and went for drives, walks, shopping, scrapped heaps...had a great time, by myself being me. Ange commented last week that she didn't know if she could go away by herself. I find that I spend so much time being Mum, wife and nurse to Matthew's Diabetes, that I need that time alone to just be Trisha again! Of course I would much rather have Stephen with me but at this stage it is too much to ask anyone to look after all 3 kids for a week and an even bigger thing to ask someone to look after Diabetes for a week, so until they are a little older and when Matthew has more responsiblity of his own care (can't see him self-injecting at 10pm or getting up to test at 2am on those nights that look like he might go low!!) so until then, we'll look forward to the day we can go away together for a whole week but as yet we can't.


• Steve has resigned from B&KS and heading back to work for Reece. I feel like slapping him...I knew Reece was the right place for him and that he perhaps just needed a change from what he was doing with them (ie transfer internally) and now he's thrown nearly 4 years towards long service leave down the tube....Oh well. He starts back with them mid August. He won't be travelling anymore though, so that is a good thing...well i think it is. I miss him terribly when he is away but the first 2 nights to have time alone is good also!


• Matthew is sports mad...actually sports insane! He thinks about sport all the time. He joined Auskick this year and loved it. Of course he knew EVERYTHING already *roll eyes here* as his Dad had taught him everything he needed to know already!! (Steve you big superstar Dad you LOL!) But he went along each week, seemed to get heaps out of it and really enjoyed himself. The coaches seemed impressed with how he was playing. He kicks the ball incredibly well and seems to have an instinct about the game (of course that may be from watching and re-watching every grand final ever played over and over again!!!) BIG news though is.........................tomorrow he is playing Auskick at half time AT THE GABBA - in half time of the Brisbane Lions vs Carlton match. He is just a LITTLE excited!! His reaction when we told him was priceless. He was so overwhelmed with emotion that he started crying (amid lots of "Oh my god", "Are you serious?", "Oh my God, i can't believe it" etc etc!) After the game the Lions have family day where you can meet the players. He nearly wet himself tonight when we told him. "Can I actually talk to Jonothan Brown?" he asked! LOL! Steve told him he could ask him for his autograph too and he nearly fell over! Jonothan Brown is his hero. Matthew even struts like him when he is playing footy..very funny to watch!


• Emily.....Emily, Emily, Emily....I finally feel like she may actually like me and might actually believe that I love her just as much as I love Matthew and Sarah! PMSL! Touching wood...don't want to jinx it but we've been getting along so well. Of course we still have the occasional spat (and no doubt ALWAYS will!) but she has just been such a pleasure of late. The week before I went away, Steve was away for work and she was horrid! Completely horrid and nasty and rude and I had almost resigned myself to the fact that maybe we were just always going to have a strange relationship and that perhaps I just wasn't ever going to be as close with her as with the other 2. That perhaps she and Steve would have a special relationship and I would just be there when she was sick (why is it they always want Mummy when they are sick but Daddy for all the fun stuff?? LOL) Anyway, I finally feel like we may have the mother-daughter relationship that I had hoped for, that I had been trying to build. I think she is growing up too and realising that she has a very important role in our family, that she is just as loved and important as everyone in our family. We were talking recently about when she was born and I told her how excited I was when she was born and was a girl as I had always wanted a daughter and she was so happy and excited about that! So touch wood, things are really good with Emily. I love her so much, she is such an amazing little soul, so caring and sweet and loving and thoughtful and I just want her to always know how special and loved she is...finally I feel like she realises that! What a long road it has been though PMSL!!!
• Sarah - the talking machine, my goodness she is talking sooooo well and some of the things she says just blow me away. She sings so many songs

- Incy Wincy 'Pider

- Old MacDonald had a farm (e-i-e-i-e-i-e-i-eee)

- Playschool Song (just like I did as a kid apparently "and stories are telled....then finishes with a hell-o??")

- Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (and the Daddy's got a caaaaa-aar version!!)

- Baa Baa Black Sheep (my favourite part is "and one for the little boy who's going home" LOL!)

Reminds me of Matthew and Emily's Nursery Ryme Interpretations - Matthew used to sing about Little Jack Horner who sat in the corner eating his Christmas Tree :D and Emily used to sing "I'm a Jingle Bells Scarecrow instead of Jingle Jangle Scarecrow!!

She also likes some mainstreamradio music too and cracks me up when she just starts singing along with the radio...This child seriously doesn't realise that she is only 2, I am convinced that she thinks she is the same age as Emily!

OK, so this is as far as I got with this post so I'll post it now rather than draft it again and start a fresh post!

The bunny's been and gone!

Well this has been sitting in my drafts folder since 10/4/07 so I thought I'd just upload as it is....

Well the bunny has been and gone...Easter once again came around so quickly but as always was fabulous. Thursday was completely crazy. I had 1001 things to do and had my day all planned out but of course.....we have children and they have a much busier life than I would ever have imagined!!!! LOL! The plan was that I would spend Thursday packing for us to go away camping, Steve would be home at 1pm to pack the car, then we would go get Emily from pre-school and then pick Matthew up from school early and head up to Hervey Bay. So Wednesday night we tell Matthew we'll pick him early and he gets very upset "we have our liturgy and our class is dancing, and I can't leave early" then Emily says, "we have our Easter Hat Parade, are you coming Mum and Dad?" Umm...ok so I had known about the Easter Parade and had kinda forgotten and I suppose if I had thought back to last year I would have remembered the liturgy too...argh!!! So Wednesday night I did uni work and Thursday I thought I would fit packing in around my children's busy timetable (ha! yeah right!!!) We had intended to leave Brisbane around 1pm...we left just after 4pm! The first time...we forgot the torches and some other stuff so turned back so finally left about 4.30pm!

Steve hadn't been sure if he could make it to Em's Easter parade but was able to and she was so excited that he was there. She was just so happy that we were all there. The bunny had been to Kindy and left great big prints on the floor. The teachers made sure the kids knew they had to be very careful not to stand on them too many times or they might turn into bunnies. LOL. They had pin the tail on the bunny game, they made Easter biscuits with icing and lollies, had face painting (well nose and whiskers!!), painting, sand pit fun, lots of photos, Easter parade to show off the hats they made in class. She had so much fun and Sarah obviously feels comfortable there as well as she made herself at home too! LOL!

Here's some photos of the morning: Em discovering the bunny prints (and hamming it up for the camera as per usual LOL!), Mum and Emily and Mum and both the girls.

There is actually some photos of me with Emily too but I think I may have downloaded them to my laptop so they will have to wait LOL!

So we left there, headed home where I tried to clean the house and start packing. Then madly dashed back to pick Emily up and go to Matthew's school liturgy. The older grades acted out the story of Jesus and Easter and did a lovely job and then the younger grades did a dance to "Jump for Joy: The Lord Has Risen". Matthew very enthusiastically joined in!! I didn't get many good photos as I was too far away .

We left and came home to continue packing and finally got away as I said about 4.30pm!

We went away with BP, Vanessa and the boys. They had left earlier and Steve had arranged them to take our tents up for us and set them up. Thank goodness they did as we didn't get there until after 9pm!!! Yep 5 hours to get there!!! Gotta love Easter traffic and a car trip with 3 kids!! LOL!

Funniest thing though was Steve and Stephen pumping up our air mattress. Stephen started pumping it up with the foot pump and it was taking forever so Steve suggested they use his pump hooked up to the car but as it was quite noisy and 10pm it might be best if they took the car for a drive, pumped it up and came back. So they did! They put the air mattress in the back of the station wagon on top of all our stuff and pumped it up. Vanessa and I nearly collapsed laughing at the 2 of them trying to get the fully pumped up air mattress out of the car. Steve at the back pulling, Stephen pushing from the back seats! Dumb and Dumber and the air mattress!!

Was nice to get away, the place we stayed was good, lots of kids around and would you believe 2 of the kids our kids started playing with went to Matthew's school! Friday afternoon we went down to the beach for a walk and of course all the kids ended up in the water - Emily (in true Emily style) was fully clothed (she MUST have been a hippy or mermaid in her former life!!!), Sarah stripped off to go in and Matthew (Mr Cautious as always) wore his shorts in so he would have a dry shirt to wear back!

Saturday we packed up the site, stopped at a rather uneventful Easter Fair in Hervey Bay before heading home. We stopped in Gympie for lunch and I am officially the best BBQ cook in the world according to Matthew!! LOL! Got home (a lot quicker than we got there mind you!!) Kids went to bed fairly early so the bunny would come!

Sunday morning (after limited sleep for Stephen and I) Matthew woke up first then went in to wake Emily. We could hear him whispering for her to wake up. Any other morning she would have yelled at him to go away but she was up quick smart and in to our room. Cath and Dale were coming over so we told them they had to wait for Nanny so they stood looking out our bedroom window. As you can tell from this photo they were a little excited when they got here. Egg hunt was as always lots of fun. Most of the pics I took are a blur of kids and eggs. Sarah joined in too this year and completely "got" it...of course she "got" the whole chocolate egg thing last year too, eating the eggs foil and all, this year though she kept handing me eggs and asking me to "take it off please".

Had a lovely breakfast with Cath and Dale and then got ourselves ready for our annual Easter picnic. Funny how it started when Matthew was a baby with Tammie, Brad, Mum, Cath, Steve and I...just for something to do and now so many people join in and it is the best day! We always go to the same place, we play cricket, footy, run around like idiots, watch Brad marvel in the wildlife, eat heaps, drink a bit then come home exhausted! I love my family, love spending time with them and look forward to Easter every year!

OK...so that is all that I had written, so I am going to post so at least this is on my blog. LOL!