Where to find the strength?

Where to find the strength??? Emily has been driving me absolutely crazy lately. i know she just wants attention but I just struggle with being able to give her the constant attention that she wants. She has been so nasty to Sarah, to Matthew, to me! Again an attention thing - Sarah has started to stand up this week (finally!) and Emily keeps knocking her over, pulling her down or even ramming right into her with the Cozy Coupe car! Argh!!!! I tried explaining that she needs to let Sarah learn to stand and walk and needs to clap and encourage her so Sarah can walk and run around playing with her but she just laughs. She has been on the thinking step heaps! She has been smacked heaps! She has been ignored but nothing is working! I really do have days that I just haven't got the strength, energy or desire to put up with her crap! I adore her and when she isn't being like this, we have such a nice time together but man she is driving me insane at the moment. Tuesday was a nightmare and yesterday I was so glad she was at Kindy because I really needed to have a nothing at home day without having to think and reprimand her all day! Mind you she walks through the Child Care Centre gates and it's like someone has flipped a switch, my gorgeous Milly is there, excuse me mummy, ooo I just hurt Sarah by mistake (which it was, Sarah had crawled behind her and she stepped back without realising), thankyou Mummy etc etc. And this wasn't in front of anyone, no-one was watching, she was just beautiful! Anyway, I'm sure I will look back on it and laugh. From my padded cell, in my straight jacket that is!!!

I have been trying to get onto all of these darn cjs I have to do. In 2 of the groups the girls ahead of me keep sending me nothing for ages then sending me 2 at a time! One girl has sent me 4 in the space of a month! WTG! So now I am holding it up! I really want to get all of these swaps and cjs etc out tomorrow so I probably should get off the computer and get them done!

I'm in the process of organising the house at the moment too. I started with the garage the other day and got down the crates of Tupperware I have. i am going to sell it all off too over the next couple of weeks and thought I would start another blog and upload all of the pics to that and then send out the blog address and then I can keep it updated better. Last time got rid of heaps but it was hard to keep it updated by email. So keep an eye out if you want cheap, mostly brand new and in packets Tupperware!

Anyway, a few more layouts to share, really need to get more done...after these bloody cjs get done!!! Take care,
Trish

"Sisterly Love": I did this for a photo swap for Louise (loulou). I am really happy with how it turned out as I played around with it for ages. Spelt Anneliese wrong though so I have to make a new tag to send to her!
"A Little Ray of Sunshine": Did this in a class and I love it. Like I usually do in classes, I don't follow exactly but make up my own rules PMSL! My divine little sunshine Sarah. When I was in labour in the assessment room of the RBH, Normie Rowe came on TV on GMA singing Little Ray of Sunshine. I remember thinking how appropriate 'casue I knew I was having a girl and turns out she is a complete ray of sunshine!
Rain Dancer: Emily the hippy! Emily is so funny, the minute it rains she just has to be out in it dancing. She is loving how much rain we are having at the moment.
Smile: Another photo swap. This is very pretty in real life. It has taken me ages to get it done. Too much pressure scrapping for someone else but all my swap stuff is going to be sent off tomorrow!

Layouts I have done

"Fairest One of All" - I love this photo!!! Complete fluke of a photo and I guarantee I couldn't have taken one like that if I had tried. Emily was mucking around and I clicked and got that!! Too cool! Took me forever to match papers for it but really happy with the way it turned out.

"Daddy's Girl" - a moment of complete insanity hand cutting all of those flowers out!! I really feel there is something not quite right with this layout. I think it might need the title to be bigger so might try that, just seems not quite finished to me.

"Pride" - The title looks a lot lighter that the flourishes but its not quite as bad as it looks here but I might walnut ink the title to darken it up a bit!

"Its A Girl Thing" - Did this for a scraplift challenge on Scrapboxx. It is a lift of a Kim Archer layout for one of her classes. (Never entered it into the challenge though)

"Christmas Joy" - Sarah - how cute is she!!!

"Brain Freeze" - had a Myer advertisement that I used as inspiration for this layout. Attempting to get heaps of photos on one layout!

That's enough for now, remember I was going to clean the house!! LOL!

Talk later
Trish

Well what a weekend! Busy, busy, busy!! Had a cyber crop on with Zig Zag (www.zigzagscrapbooking.com.au) on the weekend. I think I am getting a little addicted to them!! LOL There were 5 challenges but I only managed to get 2 of them done although I have started another 2 of them, just have to finish them off.

The first challenge was to use a black and white photo, had to be monochromatic, the word "sweet" had to be included in teh title or journalling and it had to have free hand doodling. I am thrilled with how mine turned out and I did it super quick too which was good. Not overly liking the doodling but had to put it there for the challenge and its not too bad. Love that pic of Matthew and Emily though, so sweet!!

Second challenge was to use Allison Ellis Designs patterned papers x 2, buttons, ribbons in 2 places, a quote and distressing. I scoured through my pp stash and had 2 pieces of AED paper, the stirpes and the frangapanis and I also had a page of alphbet and random wedding/celebration words. SO then I had to find a pic of someone's wedding. I probably should have used mine shouldn't I LOL, but my cousin Richard's wedding pic was in my photo file so I decided to do that one. I have inked around the strips of paper and the tags and there was ribbon top right of the photo but I didn't like it there so have taken it off LOL!

So now I'm just waiting to hear how the voting has gone....dum-de-do, dum-de-dee!!

It's great fun doing these cyber crops because they generally get me to think in a different way or try something I wouldn't usually try. I was quite disappointed that I didn't get the chance to complete the other 2 but at least they are started. Steve had sport most of the weekend though so we were out watching him play both Saturday and Sunday and then SOMEONE decided to phone me on Saturday night and have a chat!! LOL! Kelley phoned from KiwiScraps. We've been chatting on MSN for ages and have become good friends online but had never spoken so it was a bit weird at first (for all of 1 minute!!) and then we just chat, chat, chattered!! Was so good to chat in person and she even talks as fast as me!!! Quite an economical call - we can get so much more into the conversation! She sounded like she was having such a great time although I think you need lessons on how to be a proper scrapbooking groupie Kell!!! Hahaha!

What else have we been up to??? Took Emily to McDonald's yesterday to have a play with her friend Meg for her birthday. We didn't end up having a party and Emily kindof decided that she was having a party for her and Meg so we got together yesterday instead. Kath and I got to sit around chatting while the girls played. They are so cute together, lots of hugs goodbye and "see you at Kindy", very cute, they are like teenager already!!

Anyway, I really should be cleaning my house but thought I'd take the chance to update my blog while Sarah was snoozing and Emily was outside playing, she's digging up the garden. Uncle Dale got back to Brisbane yesterday and bought Em a gardening set and a book for her birthday so she is busy being a gardener. She just told me she is making sushi though so maybe we need a little lesson on horticulture LOL (The book she got is about everyone being different and has a part with kids sitting down to eat lunch and one kid has sushi)

Well, until later, keep smiling and being happy!
Trish

One Day I will Work It Out

Well I have been mucking around with my post heaps and it keeps putting pics in funny places so this is the best it gets. One day I will work it out!

BTW Happy Birthday Emily for Thursday and Happy Birthday Jasmine (Jazzy, Yasmina!!) for today!!

My princess, my diva, Tell Me How...

Woohoo...looks like I have been able to finally upload some pictures...yeehaaaa!!! These 3 layouts were done for the Scrappers Cyber Crop last week and I won...still sooo stoked about it too. I won a $100 voucher to Linda's shop Strictly Scrapbooking: www.strictlyscrapbooking.com.au and I've been looking and looking through the shop, trying to work out what to buy... I want it all!!!


"So Enthusiastic" is about Matthew and how incredibly enthusiastic he is about school and learning. We are so proud of him, he is a reading machine.



"Shh! Sleeping Millycakes" was done for a sketch challenge. Poor Milly had the chicken pox and when I went upstairs to get something for Matthew she just crashed exhausted. She made up the title herself.


The colour of the Tell Me How layout is a bit off, must take a better pic of it! The photo lifts back to reveal journalling. The journalling is quite honest and explains how much I struggled with Emily and her terrible 2's (and 3's LOL!) ...basically Tell Me How I can love this little girl so much yet she can frustrate me so much, make me so angry etc. I really want her to know that in the future, if/when she goes through the same thing with her children to know that I went through it, love her so much regardless and for her to know that we got through it all OK. I actually have a few layouts like this that I want to do. We really had a rough time there for a while. Looking back she was craving my attention and even bad attention (ie being in trouble all of the time) was good attention. Don't get me wrong she was getting my attention but my theory is that she wanted my actual physical attention. Matthew had it Diabetes-wise, he needed/needs me to test, inject, look after hypos etc and Sarah being a newborn needed me to change, feed, bath, stop and look after her and although I did try, I think she did feel a little left out so started to be ...... ummm...what word can I insert here that doesn't make me sound like a complete cow of a mother???....ummm...she started to be a little difficult??!! LOL!

Anyway, once I realised that she needed me to be firm and not let her push the boundaries she learnt pretty quickly that I meant what I said (although the "thinking step" may have also helped thanks Super-Nanny!!! LOL!). It became a battle for about 2 weeks. No matter what she wanted, if I didn't want it, she didn't get it. If I asked her to put a pink shoes on and she wanted to put white ones on, I held my ground until the pink ones were on her feet. Everything was my way until she understood that I was the boss and wasn't going to put up with her garbage anymore. She tried hard, we had tears, tantrums, "I hate you"'s, lots and lots of "No I not doing it", "I not stopping my garbage" and every other trick that she could think of but in the end she started to co-operate and then I started to ease up on some things. She spent a LOT of time on that thinking step at first and then she started spending more and more time not even on a warning to go to the thinking step. I think we have finally reached an understanding.

She has definitely been the more challenging of my 3 children (although who knows, Sarah is only 15mths old but she seems so placid in nature at the moment and it breaks her heart if I tell her off, Matthew used to be the same). In saying that though Emily has a wicked sense of humour, a genuine heart of gold with such a caring nature and I never worry that she won't take care of herself. I know that she will stand her ground, live by her convictions, lead not follow, not let herself be walked over and will always hold her head high believing in what she is doing. I truly believe that she will dance like no-one is watching, sing like no-one is listening and love like she has never been hurt. She has challenged me but I learnt a lot through it and came out stronger. There are still days that she drives me nearly crazy but I can see a special bond that I know will develop into more than just a mother-daughter relationship but rather a close friendship. I admire so many things about her already and she is only 4 (and 2 days!!). I mean look att hat face in that photo. Tell me how could you not adore her for coming into my life creating complete chaos but have the ability to give me her cheeky smile, look at me with her beautiful, big, sparkling, blue eyes and be able to wrap her arms around me, tell me she loves me BIG MUCH and make all of that anger, saddness and frustration just melt away. Em, I love you. Always be you and the world will be yours!!

I love my friends!

I have the best group of friends in the world! Its not exactly a new revelation but I just spent the weekend with them and I love them all so much. Kinda scary though, we worked out that we have nearly known each other for 20 years! We've certaingly been through a lot in that 20 years...parents illnesses and deaths, first kisses, boyfriends, heartbreaks, marriages, children, buying houses, selling houses....we've made the passage from girls to women together...gee I'm starting to sound like Steel Magnolias or one of those other soppy girly movies!!

Anyway, we had a fabulous weekend. Ange and Vicki went over to Straddie on Friday. Steve was away and getting back Saturday afternoon so I had intended to go over Sunday with the family for Thomas' birthday party. Friday night, the girls are having a FEW drinks and start texting me saying I need to come over Saturday and they will keep texting me every hour until I agree. I mention to Steve what they are doing and next text message tells me that it is all arranged with Steve and I am coming over Saturday and he'll be over Sunday with the kids! Woohoo!! I really did want to spend the night with Stephen as he had been away nearly 2 weeks but it has been so long since we have had a girls night where no-one has been pregnant, breastfeeding, driving, etc etc so it was very appealing. I am so glad I went over Saturday. We laughed so much, drank a bit, OK a lot and just reminded me that I have the best group of friends in the the world. Ange, Vicki, Elle and Tarsh - I love you guys, you are the best, I know you are always there for me, I hope you know that I am always there for you too, you make me laugh and I come home with my cheeks hurting - thanks for a fabulous weekend.

Some very exciting news - I won a cybercrop on The Scrappers MSN group. Kelley started off the prize pool then a group of us all contributed and Linda also contributed to the prize so the winner could go shopping in her new online store www.strictlyscrapbooking.com.au. She has some wonderful new products in so I am going to be in heaven shopping! Thanks to Kelley for organising the group to start with, thanks to the other girls who joined in and thanks so much to Linda for picking my work! I was incredibly suprised!!! All the entries were excellent!

I have a heap of layouts to upload so I'll get some done now. The photos I took of the ones for the cybercrop are terrible but I'll post them now and then retake the photos tomorrow. Well its not working so I'll have a look tomorrow, Steve wants to use the computer and the computer is playing up, really really slow and annoying so I'm going to go and will chat later.

Until tomorrow, stay happy!
Trish

What??? You gotta update this thing???

Well Kelley has just informed me that I need to update my blog...I was so hoping it would just know what I am doing and write its own update! LOL! I got a bit annoyed (A LOT!) the other night because I couldn't get my pics and layouts to upload so I gave up for a few days!

I am going to keep trying to upload pics and will post an update then - too busy scrapping right now!!

So there is an update for ya! LOL!

Until later, keep smiling!
Trish

Ding Ding...Round 2

OK another go...let's hope I don't delete the last post LOL!

Well Steve flew out for work yesterday morning. As much as I miss him when he is away, I do enjoy spend my nights scrapping and chatting on MSN. I don't like to scrap every night when he is home as it is nice to just hang out in the lounge or in bed chatting or watching TV together. He is my best friend and I love him sooo much. He is just so me. He makes me laugh and smile. Don't get me wrong he isn't perfect (just as I'm not perfect), he frustrates me so much at times - the way he gets an idea in his head and can't think of anything else, the way he nags me, and his "leave it where I use it" policy...argh!!! But then if I was to put together a list of things that are fabulous then it would far outweigh the frustrations so I think we have a pretty special relationship!!

We (the kids and I) spent yesterday at Tammie's, the kids played together so well. Jasmine told Tammie a week ago that Emily may be her cousin but she is also one of her best friends. Being only 1 year apart (well 363 days apart actually) they do get on really well and Tam and I cringe when we think of their teen years...oh dear, double trouble!! 2 Leos! 2 stubborn, independent, determined girls with good looks to go with their too cool attitudes. They have such a great time together. I forgot my camera so didn't get to capture them dressed as fairies playing in the sandpit, on the swings and inventing games to play. Yep, sheer fairy dresses in August!! I felt cold but apparently fairies don't get cold!

Oh hang on, we do have some BIG news!!! Matthew's first dream came true!! LOL! He is so funny...on Sunday night he asked me when he will start to lose his teeth as all the kids in his class are losing their teeth and "Mum, Jake has lost THREE!!" I told him it would probably start happening soon and most likely when he is 6. Sunday morning he wakes up, comes down stairs and we are chatting and I look at his teeth and think that one looks a little out of line with the others. "Matthew, is your tooth wobbly?" He feels it...."Oh my God Mum, it is, YESSSS! Oh this is my first dream come true. Last night I said I hope I lose my teeth soon and now I have, its amazing Mum" Haha! So now I think that he thinks he has a direct line to God who will answer any of his dreams! Wouldn't that be nice!!

Scrapped with Mum and Tammie last night and did a page about Matthew (have to take a pic and upload it later). It has been a while since I did any of Matthew. I had intended to enter the Chatterbox Make It Meaningful Competition but didn't end up doing it. I had intended to do an album about Matthew and Diabetes. I still want to and plan to do it. I want to be able to have it here if he goes through a bad stage in his teens/adult life. i want him to know that we have done the best we have known how to do, that it is OK to hate Diabetes and everything that goes with it, that we hate it too and I also want to put the facts and details of diagnosis and everyday life in it. So I had been saving what photos I had of him (not many considering the fact that Matthew doesn't really let me take too many photos of him anymore, plus he's usually pulling faces or being silly to be able to get too many nice ones!) so I hadn't scrapped many of him. Last night I did one of him though called Pride. We are so immensely proud of him, he is such an amazing kid. He's nearly always got a smile on his face and a giggle. He's doing so well at school (and is so keen to learn). He's just a fabulous kid and I love him to bits! Mind you he is driving me crazy asking me every 10mins when I think his tooth will fall out LOL!

Thought I'd just add some of the layouts I did while away for the week. How amazing is my husband???!!! Just when I think he doesn't realise how tired I am, how much I need some time to be me and not Mum and just when I think he has no appreciation for my job as a SAHM, he goes and suprises me whith a week away by myself. The sweetheart even went to check the place out to make sure it was all secure and to make sure there was a suitable place for me to scrap - what a man!! Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids, I love being home with them but it has been so long since I have been able to be completely me! Mostly the problem is with me. Because of Matthew's Diabetes, I don't like to ask my mum or Steve's mum to look after him overnight too much. I suppose I look at it that they have done their 'time' mothering and getting up at 2am to test Matthew is not exactly the nicest thing so I hate asking them to do it. Then Sarah breastfed until 12mths and wouldn't take a bottle so even the plan to go away together for our anniversary didn't happen (we had to take her with us) then she isn't in childcare and as much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE being with her, she is ALWAYS with me so it was really nice to get away and be able to do things like - Sleep in, take LOOOONNNNGGGGG, HOT showers without kids either yelling or asking can they get in too, and then use a dry towel (Steve!!! grrr!), I even shaved my legs TWICE during the week LOL, I ate dinner when I wanted to, I had a whole sandwich for lunch one day - no-one picking off my plate, I had a sleep in the middle of the day, went to the shops and roamed around looking at whatever I wanted to, slept through the night - no waking to check on kids, no kids crawling in to my bed and taking it over...it really was nice!

I also had lots of time to think and take a look at my life. I need to start doing things for me as I at times I feel I am here just cook, clean and babysit. I rarely eat properly, I don't sleep well, I don't do things for myself like sport or other stuff. I do scrapbook but generally that is late at nights when I should be sleeping. So I started taking Vitamins while away and have made a list of things I want to start doing, most of them were on my New Years Resolution List. I've only ticked 2 off my list, submit to the mags and be published. Funnily enough I haven't submitted anything since getting my acceptance LOL Have I quit while I am ahead?? LOL! Anyway my plan is to:
* Drink more water
* Lose some weight
* Use the treadmill more often
* Start doing more scrapbooking classes or crops etc
* Start having nights out with Steve or going to visit him for lunch
* Get uni organised to start back next year
* Get life organised so uni can fit in nicely (Yep I am the eternal optimist!!) and finally...the big one....
* Stop being angry. I find that I get so worked up lately especially with Emily. She really gets me so worked up at times and I can't continue being like that. I need to keep reminding myself that she is the child and can't and won't have this kind of power over me. I am going to remind myself to take a deep breathe and remember that being annoying is her job LOL! Just wish she didn't do it so darn well!!! Hahaha :D When she is not whinging she is incredible and our relationship has the potential to be brilliant, she has a wicked sense of humour, is so loving and caring and makes me smile and laugh so much but also has the ability to drive me INSANE!!

Anyway, if you are still with me after all this, then well done. I'm not even sure if anyone will really ever read this but I intend to use it as a sort of diary so my posts may be lengthy but I suppose no-one needs read it if they don't want to. I never really worry about what people es0pecially strangers think so why start over this!!

Keep smiling

Trish

PS Oh by the way, just wanted to say how incredibly impressed I was with Memories and More, Online scrap shop (www.memoriesandmore.com.au). I placed an order on Friday and got it this morning!! Wow!! Got some great bargains too...I think I love scrap shopping more that actually using it LOL!

Have I really succumb???

Surely not!! Surely I haven't just created a blog!!! NOOOO!!! I swore I wouldn't do it!

I really have no idea what to put in these things or even how to put anything in it but I was blog hopping the other day (another thing I swore I would never do LOL!), anyway I was on someone's blog (sorry whoever you are, I don't remember who) and there was a comment that it was handy to have all this information recorded about the things her family and children were doing for both scrapping and for looking back on.

I've been thinking about it ever since and then someone I know strongly urged me to get my own blog. I said, "But I'll have nothing to say" Now this friend doesn't even know me in real life so doesn't actually realise just how funny that comment of mine is! I'll have nothing to say...hahaha!, I'm rarely speachless, so yeah you are right I will have something to say (I didn't say it would be interesting). I said "I don't know a thing about Blogs" to which my friend explained how easy it is. So far so good - you're right again!

So tonight has been about creating my blog and trying to think up user names and blog names. So who am I and why???

I generally use the name Tish. Then there is the user name that I hate: Tuppertish. Only on one forum - Scrapboxx (I love this site). I was one of the first few members to join Scrapboxx and I think I made contact with Maria on ebay where my user name was Tuppertish (was originally going to sell all of my old Tupperware on ebay so became Tuppertish...oh how silly!!!) Anyway, Tish is generally my username because 'Trish' is ALWAYS taken on any forum so Tish is usually available. BUT NOT THIS TIME!! LOL so Tish_L it is!!

Now what do you call a blog? Rover, Sage (unbelievably Steve wanted to call both of the girls this - they both owe me BIG TIME!!), I have no idea - I've named 3 children isn't that enough. What if I name my blog and it gets teased??? So I am looking for suggestions!! For the moment though it is "Tish's Talking (so listen 'cause it will be fast)" And fast it will be! I talk fast, type fast and think fast...and of course that usually means what I am saying, typing and thinking usually make no sense at all!!

Anyway, I am going to sign off now and head to bed. I thought I'd start with just a post for my first attempt and I'll upload some layouts tomorrow. Not awake enough to kick and scream at the computer tonight!

Just before I go, I heard something the other day that I really liked "When you hate someone, you become their prisoner" meaning that when you make the decision to hate someone and have such strong feelings about them and their actions, thoughts etc then they are controlling you. I don't hate anyone, I don't hold grudges and truly believe in Karma. I am always telling my kids to always treat people the way that you would like them to treat you. I don't have time to hate, I don't have enough energy to hate, I don't want to waste my emotions on hate - I'd much rather spend all of my time, energy and emotions on my children, my husband, my friends and my family.

So there you go, looks like I've just become a blogger. ARGGGHHHHH!

Until tomorrow, may life be happy and full of smiles.

Trish